My co-workers and I are looking for new jobs because our jobs are going to another company in the spring. Wes is always advising us to ask for a higher salary than offered. I hope he finds this story as funny as I do. I re-wrote it just for him.
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Manager asked the young Data Analyst, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The candidate confidently replied, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer mulled this over for a few moments and asked, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red T-Bird to start?"
The Analyst sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the Manager replied, "Certainly, ...but you started it."
http://www.ahajokes.com/off31.html
Monday, November 14, 2005
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Friday, November 11, 2005
ZZZZZzzzzzzz
I took a 3 hour nap today. (That is suppose to explain why I haven't blogged for a week.)
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Sunday Morning Breakfast
This morning I fixed waffles and pancakes for breakfast. More specifically, "milled flax seed and soy" waffles and pancakes.
I have been trying to eat more whole grains and less meat so a few months ago I bought a heart-healthy pancake mix. This morning I decided to try it. At first, I was going to make pancakes, but the instructions included the directions for waffles and I remembered that I had a waffle iron that had never been used.
So I decided to make waffles and made the batter accordingly. It looked awfully thin to stay on a waffle iron. I re-read the instructions. Hmmm, the last step said "Let set 5 minutes". I unplugged the waffle iron and set the timer.
Five minutes later, the batter had thickened a little. Milled flax seed and soy batter doesn't look like regular pancake batter. The phrases cow fodder and horse feed come to mind.
I heated up the waffle iron for its maiden voyage and poured the right amount of batter onto each square. Then I waited.
And waited. And waited some more. The waffle iron was taking FOREVER so I heated up the griddle to make pancakes. I burned the first one, of course. It's tradition in my house. I threw that one out, adjusted the heat, and started another. While the second one was cooking, I decided the waffle MUST be done so I took it off the grill and put more batter on.
The waffle looked done, but one taste said otherwise. I threw that one away. In the meantime, the second pancake looked burned so I threw that one out, adjusted the heat, and started another.
That's when the smoke alarm when off. When I'm cooking, that's also traditional.
The second waffle was still cooking, but by the time I got the alarm to stop screaming, the third pancake was done. Hunh, apparently milled flax seed and soy pancakes look burnt when they're done. I put another pancake on.
The fourth pancake finished cooking so I stuck them both on a plate and served them with lots of syrup. With enough syrup, they actually tasted pretty good.
The waffle was still cooking.
Eventually, the waffle got done, dark golden brown and crisp. Tasted a lot like the pancakes.
In summary, for 2 pancakes and 1 waffle, I have to wash a waffle iron, a skillet, 3 measuring cups, a measuring spoon, a bowl, 2 plates, 3 forks, 2 spoons, a spatula, the stove top, the counter top, and my nightgown where I dribbled syrup. Makes frozen waffles sound reallllly good.
I have been trying to eat more whole grains and less meat so a few months ago I bought a heart-healthy pancake mix. This morning I decided to try it. At first, I was going to make pancakes, but the instructions included the directions for waffles and I remembered that I had a waffle iron that had never been used.
So I decided to make waffles and made the batter accordingly. It looked awfully thin to stay on a waffle iron. I re-read the instructions. Hmmm, the last step said "Let set 5 minutes". I unplugged the waffle iron and set the timer.
Five minutes later, the batter had thickened a little. Milled flax seed and soy batter doesn't look like regular pancake batter. The phrases cow fodder and horse feed come to mind.
I heated up the waffle iron for its maiden voyage and poured the right amount of batter onto each square. Then I waited.
And waited. And waited some more. The waffle iron was taking FOREVER so I heated up the griddle to make pancakes. I burned the first one, of course. It's tradition in my house. I threw that one out, adjusted the heat, and started another. While the second one was cooking, I decided the waffle MUST be done so I took it off the grill and put more batter on.
The waffle looked done, but one taste said otherwise. I threw that one away. In the meantime, the second pancake looked burned so I threw that one out, adjusted the heat, and started another.
That's when the smoke alarm when off. When I'm cooking, that's also traditional.
The second waffle was still cooking, but by the time I got the alarm to stop screaming, the third pancake was done. Hunh, apparently milled flax seed and soy pancakes look burnt when they're done. I put another pancake on.
The fourth pancake finished cooking so I stuck them both on a plate and served them with lots of syrup. With enough syrup, they actually tasted pretty good.
The waffle was still cooking.
Eventually, the waffle got done, dark golden brown and crisp. Tasted a lot like the pancakes.
In summary, for 2 pancakes and 1 waffle, I have to wash a waffle iron, a skillet, 3 measuring cups, a measuring spoon, a bowl, 2 plates, 3 forks, 2 spoons, a spatula, the stove top, the counter top, and my nightgown where I dribbled syrup. Makes frozen waffles sound reallllly good.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Halloween Leftovers
Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school? He was buttering up his teacher.
What did the cannibal do when he saw an "All you can eat" restaurant? He had 2 waiters and a busboy.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, silly, they eat the fingers separately.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
What do little ghosts drink? Evaporated milk. (That's why they can evaporate into thin air - get it?)
What do ghosts put on top of an ice cream sundae? Whipped scream.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich.
and only this one thing I fear
And that's to open my fridge at night
and find that I'm all out of beer.
What did the cannibal do when he saw an "All you can eat" restaurant? He had 2 waiters and a busboy.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, silly, they eat the fingers separately.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
What do little ghosts drink? Evaporated milk. (That's why they can evaporate into thin air - get it?)
What do ghosts put on top of an ice cream sundae? Whipped scream.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich.
HALLOWEEN TRAGEDY
I am not scared of goblins or ghouls
and things that go bump in the night
Werewolves and bats and witches and such
do not give me much of a fright.
and only this one thing I fear
And that's to open my fridge at night
and find that I'm all out of beer.
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