Saturday, March 10, 2012

Stop the Presses!

Where have all the editors gone?   They don't seem to work for Internet publishers.  Not even the news.  Maybe especially the news.

You don't expect personal blogs like this one to hire editors.  Some of their charm is misspellings and embarrassing typos.  (At least I hope so.)

But the news!  That's another story.  It seems like poor grammar, atrocious spelling, poorly structured paragraphs, repeated words (like the the), and other glaring errors are increasing.  This morning I easily spotted an error in the first sentence of one news article and later read another one that started over again repeating the first two or three paragraphs half way through the page.

I'm not talking about debatable grammar rules like should you use "like" or "as" or "such as", or Does a period go on this side or that of a quote.   I'm referring to glaring arrows like this one that I made purposefully to make the point.  They aren't that hard to spot.

Is that stuff not taught in schools any more?  Even if they don't, there's always spell check available.  And it's not like we can't find grammar rules on the Internet or in a book. Or even on YouTube.  (Where they teach you not to start a sentence with a conjunction.)

I find this trend to sloppiness somewhat disturbing.  I think it's reflective of the contents of the news articles as well.  On-line "news" articles are often rife with misdirection, bias, half-facts, opinions veiled as facts, missing facts, and just plain crap instead of actual news.

Where's Perry White when we need him?

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

How Rude!

I'm not a big fan of people carrying cell phones (mobile phones) around.  They are so annoying.  The people, not the phones.  Here are ten short tips that you should do with your cell phone to keep from annoying me:
  1. Don't talk on the phone while trying to drive.  Some people just can't do this right any more than they can talk and walk at the same time.  The saddest part is that I know 99% of you just said, "HA!  I know somebody like that - but it's not me."  If you hear me yelling " Get that *&^% thing out of your ear and drive!" you'll know it is too you.
  2. Ditto for trying to push a cart around the grocery store. 
  3. Do turn off the *&^% ringer when you're in a public place - like the office where you work.  Or at least the office where I work. 
  4. If I'm talking to you and the phone rings or vibrates or whatever, just leave it - the caller will leave a message.  If you just have to answer it due to a freaky compulsion of some kind, say "Excuse me, I need to take this call".  "Excuse me" - just two little words - learn them by heart and use them frequently. 
  5. If you have a headset or an earbud and you're talking to somebody and the thing is hidden by your hat, hair or the side of your face, it can be difficult to tell that  you're not talking to yourself.  This can be rather disconcerting to your fellow shoppers who are thinking "Is she talking to me?  Should I answer?  Should I walk nonchalantly, but quickly, toward security?"
  6. Don't use the cell phone while sitting in a stall in a public restroom.  It's inhibiting to the rest of us.
  7. Don't show me those cute little pics of your cute little dog or cute little niece in that cute little window on your phone.  I'll go "Aw, isn't that cute", but to tell you the truth I can't tell which is which when the picture is that little.
  8. If you're in the middle of the store and your barely old enough to be potty-trained kid is repeating over and over and over, "Mommy, I have to go! Mommy, I have to go!" just get off the phone.  What's more important anyway?
  9. It's impolite to type and/or read text messages during meetings, at the dinner table, and when you're supposed to be listening to me.
  10. And if you're going to have a "private" conversation in public, speak up so we don't have to strain to hear the good parts. 

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Truth in Advertising

It's after two o'clock and I haven't had lunch yet even though I had little breakfast, so I'm very hungry and I get peevish when I'm hungry.

I just bought some Gorton's Fish Sandwich Fillets.   The package shows a nice golden brown fish square nestled in a bed of bright green lettuce, topped with bright red sliced tomatoes, and creamy tartar sauce.  The fish fillet is so big, it can't be contained by the seeded bun but overlaps it all around.  It looks delicious.

I'm fixing a couple of lunch now and it would be so nice to serve such an appetizing sandwich.  But, alas, I don't  know where they got such tiny little buns.  The frozen fish portions are only 2 3/4 inches.  After cooking they probably won't be more than 2 1/2 inches.   They certainly aren't going to overlap any bun I might have.  Two of them won't even cover an average slice of bread. 

The picture on the package of a fish square outside the bun is about the actual size, but it's set at an angle which makes it look bigger.  Not to mention that it also practically dwarfs the bun.

Such "advertising" may serve to entice me to buy the product the first time, but it does nothing to make me want to buy any more of the product in the future.

I'll let you know how it tastes after lunch.

Post script - After lunch: Well the crunchy parts were crunchy and the fish was edible.  Two squares fit on a slice of Italian bread.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Great Americans Day 2012

I'm still pushing to change "President's Day" to "Great Americans Day".  Great Americans Day will celebrate all our nation's heroes, past and present  And not just those with medals and statues and books and movies, but the everyday heroes who too often go unrecognized.

President's Day is the most obvious day for this new holiday because it's already been stripped of it's original purpose to celebrate George Washington's birthday  Washington was an exceptional man and we owe much of what are country is to the foundation he built for us.  No man can deny that he more than deserves to have his own day, but I think Washington would be pleased to share the day with other great Americans.




Sunday, February 19, 2012

Me and Time

There is something about Time that eludes me.  I don't know why I can't seem to keep track of it, but, as it is, I'm just wasting it.  Or it's wasting me. 

I'm off work this week.  My way to protest the cold weather (which, by the way, hasn't actually been that cold this year.)  My first day off was Saturday (if you want to count that since I'm always off on Saturday).  When I went to bed Saturday night I realized that I had no idea if the next day was Sunday or Monday and for one puzzling moment I thought it might even be Tuesday.  I considered getting out of bed to check but decided it was too late to be worth the effort so I didn't. 

When I got up the next day, I turned on the computer to learn it was only Sunday.  That's today, but it seems longer ago than this morning.

When I go back to work in a week, people will ask me "How was your time off" and I'll reply, "Fine, but it was too short."  Then I'll pause and ask nonchalantly, "By the way, what day is it?"