It's amazing!

This is my horrorscope for Friday. "Amazing opportunities await in the next few days."

Hmmm, amazing opportunities? On the weekend?

What do you think is more likely?

• I'm offered a job with a 6 figure salary, or I get an opportunity to save 50 cents on 10 cans of cat food (for a cat I don't have)?
• I win an opportunity to travel around the world, or I run out of toilet paper and am forced to travel a mile to the nearest discount store to get a couple of rolls before somebody needs it.
• I have an opportunity to sleep-in on Saturday, or I have to stumble out of bed at the crack of dawn to visit the bathroom?
• I am given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to watch the premier of an innovative new broadway show ON BROADWAY, or I get to sit on my couch and watch one of the movies I picked up for 50 cents at the used book store last week.
• Opportunity knocks on the door, but I'm sitting on the pot wondering where I put the emergency roll of toilet paper.

Yeah, that's what I think, too. Sitting on the loo.

May all your opportunities this weekend be good ones. One of us should be so lucky.