The Dog Walker

As I wrote previously, one of the uncompleted assignments for my writing class was writing dialogue. We didn’t have to submit the assignments so I just did it my head and actually, that’s daydreaming, not writing.

Last week Mike told a story about Wes that I thought would make a good dialogue. It had a beginning, middle, and end, and was entertaining. I wasn’t there to record the conversation when the incident happened so I’m going to use the liberty that all writers take and make some of it up.

The Dog Walker

It was one of those rare spring mornings in Indiana with no rain in sight and Wes took the opportunity to work outside, attending to some of the home owner's chores that lay dormant through the winter. He studied the sprinkler heads carefully, cleared them of debris, and adjusted them away from the sidewalk. As he bent over the sprinklers, calculating the spray angle, he noticed a dog on the sidewalk. A beautiful red Doberman.

“I’ve always wanted a red Doberman,” Wes thought to himself as his eyes wandered across the dog, up the leash, up the arm that held the leash, and on to The Dog Walker.

“Hmmm, I’ve always wanted one of those,” Wes added at the sight of the pretty dog walker. “Go for it,” his inner voice urged. “Be friendly to your neighbor. To your good-lookin’ neighbor.”

“That’s a beautiful dog,” he called.

The Dog Walker smiled and stepped off the sidewalk to approach him. “Thank you. His name is Buster.”

He patted the dog while they chatted about the Doberman (Buster), Indiana weather (unpredictable), her career (teaching), and the world in general. Too soon, she said, “We’ve taken up enough of your time. Come on, Buster. Let’s finish our walk.”

The inner voice advised, “Be cool! Don’t blow it!”

“Well, maybe I’ll pet your dog again sometime.”

“You blew it! You moron!” the inner voice screeched as Wes morosely watched The Dog Walker and the Doberman walk away. He was still banging his head against a wall when Mike arrived ten minutes later.

“What’s up?” Mike asked rhetorically in way of a greeting.

Wes told him about the red Doberman and The Dog Walker, “I didn’t get her name or her phone number, and all I could say was, ‘Maybe I’ll pet your dog again sometime’. I’m such an idiot.”

Mike rolled on the floor in laughter, immensely enjoying his friend’s embarrassment. “You are an idiot,” he concurred when he could finally speak. “Maybe I’ll pet your dog again sometime! That’s the stupidest line I ever heard.”

The inner voice just sighed.

The End

Luckily, Wes is a good sport and doesn’t mind us making fun of him. If The Dog Walker (or any single female between 22 - 28) should read this, you could do a lot worse than Wes. Email me - we'll talk.

OK, let’s get a little chatter going here. You don't have to use your own name to print your comments. We can talk about Wes first then critique my dialogue.

The ending was hard to write - did the dialogue end successfully? The instructor would say I used too many !’s. What do you think?