Fictional Friends

I'm dragging Herb Smiley out of the closet for my Advanced Fiction Writing course. I stuffed him in there shortly after I started my new job about 15 months ago.

I like ol' Herb. I really missed him and his crazy mother. He's a nice guy and I'd like to see him make something of himself. Or to be more accurate: I'd like to see me make something of himself.

I thought I'd have time and energy with the new job to hang out more with my fictional friends, but, about 14 months ago, this job started sucking the life out of me. I like working. Why do I hate jobs?

Fictional friends are better than no friends at all.

Alice

Did I tell you that I'm learning to program Alice? "What's Alice?" you reply, answering a question with a question.

Alice is a free software program from Carnegie-Mellon University that was created to introduce object oriented programming to beginners. Especially girls. I'm a girl. An old girl, but, nonetheless, a girl.

After the first class, I thought "I'm too old for this."

After the second class, I thought "Hey, I can do this and it's fun!" That was after I accidently beheaded my cow. The cow's body sunk into the ground and the head just stayed in space staring at me. I am so easily amused.

My second attempt was more successful - I built a barnyard with a cow, a horse, and some chickens. I had one of the chickens run around, clucking.

Can you believe an old lady made an animated short after only two lessons? That's how easy it is.

(Click on Alice's nose if you want to know more.)

On the road again

I ordered some items on-line the other day from a mid-west retailer. I tracked my package this morning to see why it hadn't arrived. Well, all I can say is that I hope it isn't wore out by the time it gets here. It's had quite a journey and a few long nights.

It left the Indianapolis warehouse (which is in the county next to my home), went to a "sortation center" in Ohio for three days, then back to Indianapolis to another "sortation center" for three days, then to my town. The last entry said it was accepted "in house" at 2:43 AM this morning. Now I know that wasn't my house.

That package has been taken more places than I have this week.

One Thousand and Counting

When I looked at my blog today, I saw that I have had exactly 1,000 visitors since last July. Half of those hits were probably mine, but for the other 500 visits ----- THANKS!

When you're eating your pizza Saturday night, pretend we're having a celebration party and I'm buying.

No recess for the elderly

I'm running behind this week. Well, not so much running as just lagging. Faithful readers know I rarely run.

I had two on-line courses start Wednesday and I'm already behind. I was so excited to be taking the classes I could hardly stand it, then at the last minute something came up and I couldn't get to them yesterday. Luckily, reports were running slow today so I managed to do the reading for the writing class, and there was no assignment for the first night.

I should be working on the programming course, but I'm savoring the anticipation. I'm afraid that I'll find it too simple or too hard, but I'm expecting it to be just right. So I savor the anticipation in case my expectations are shattered.

You got to take your good moments and make 'em last.

Broccoli - Cauliflower Salad

Here's a quick salad to throw together from left overs, which is how I created it so the measurements are all approximate - use what you got and to taste.

• 1 1/2 - 2 cups cold steamed broccoli and cauliflower (bite size pieces, not too done - still crisp)


• 1/4 cup shredded carrots (raw)


• 1/8 - 1/4 cup shredded or cubed cheddar cheese (or whatever you have)


• 1 - 2 tablespoons chopped green pepper (or red or yellow or a mixture of all three)


• 2 tablespoons bacon pieces


• 2 - 3 tablespoons vinaigrette-type salad dressing (like Italian dressing, raspberry vinaigrette, balsamic vinaigrette; I don't like a lot of dressing on my salad - you might like more or you might even prefer a mayonaise based dressing)

Mix all ingredients together, chill several hours for best flavor, but you can eat it immediately.

Some good add-ins: chopped fresh tomatoes, sliced radishes, chopped cucumber, left over pasta (without sauce), sliced mushrooms.

You here what I'm saying here? If it's your kitchen, you don't have to follow the recipe. Think about it.



If you need a "real" recipe because you're not ready to fly solo, try one of these:
Kraft Broccoli-CauliflowerSalad
Kraft Broccoli-Cauliflower Chicken Salad
MSN Broccoli Cauliflower Salad
Waitrose Zesty Broccoli and Cauliflower Salad
Easy Salad Recipes - Broccoli (No Cauliflower) Salad

Wacky, Weird, and Wonderful World News

This is why I spend too much time on the internet ----

I just read a story about a 5 year old girl who walked out of a forest two days after she was presumed to have drowned in an Illinois river.

That led to a story about a rabid fox that chased two kids in a New Hampshire back yard. It was eventually captured by the children's mother who pinned it to the ground till police arrived.

From there I went to Germany and a story about a "wild and crazy" squirrel that ran from house to house attacking people until a 72 year old man beat it to death with his crutch.

On to Georgia, where a German shepherd stopped to help a stranger who had been injuried in a car wreck. This four legged hero found dragged the victim by her shirt collar about 50 yards up an embankment to the highway, then stood by her till she was able to flag down a motorist.

Next stop: Jerusalem. A wild leopard jumped in bed with a man, his young daughter, and the family cat. The man wrestled the lepard to the floor and pinned it for twenty minutes. The daughter was in her father's bed because a mosquito had frightened her out of her own room. Ummm, the leopard was old and in ill health but there was no description of the mosquito.

Back to the Northeast, charges were dropped against a Vermont woman who stared at and made faces at a police dog.

Nada, zip, zilch.

It's Friday morning and I don't have to go to work today. I can do whatever I want. Lounge around in my pajamas all morning. Go out for a leisurely lunch and shopping in the afternoon.

I know I have the next two days off work too, but having Friday off is just a little sweeter than Saturday when you always get Saturday.

I worked in hospitals off and on for about 20 years so I didn't automatically get every weekend off like I do now. I used to cram so much activity into a weekend. Now I just take them for granted and before I know it they're over and I haven't done a thing.

Nothing fun, nothing productive, nothing at all. Nada, zip, zilch.

I don't think it's due to lack of motivation. I blame it on the energy crisis. Before that, gas was cheap and I had energy.

Crayons

Here'a tutorial on drawing Winnie the Pooh in case you're interested. They start with his eyes, which is an interesting technique, don't you think?

So little time, so much procrastination

It's Sunday morning, almost Sunday afternoon. Just in case you were wondering.

I got up early this morning, and worked for two or three hours on the on-line course I'm taking on statistics. Then I found a course on SQL that I want to take and one on VBA for Access. I don't have time to do all those and go to work and if I don't work, I can't use them.

I only meant to be at the computer for a couple of hours this morning, but after the lessons I remembered something else I needed to do on-line, and then something else and one thing led to another and here I am still sitting here because I remembered it had been a few days since I blogged.

And at my elbow is a Penny's catalog to remind me that I need to search their web site for some clothes that were on sale in the catalog. The catalog is older and the pants may not be available now, since they were on clearance.

And in the mean time, there are dishes to wash and toilets to scrub, and I just don't have enough time today to get everything done. Besides, the weather is beautiful outside and I want to go out and enjoy at least 15 minutes of sunshine without heat, rain, and/or humidity. And I need to re-pot my poor Ming Aralia because it's looks like it's already too late (if you know what I mean) and there's those papers I need to search for (a search that I've been putting off since the first week in May) and there's a pile of papers here by my desk that is getting so high I can barely step over it. And ...........

What to do? What to do?

Nobody Pays Any Attention to Me

Last night while waiting to go to sleep I ran a scene through my head that I'm working on.

They stood an the pier staring out into the ocean. She leaned against the railing and wondered about the man at her side. She was more than a little agrieved that he had insisted on accompanying her tonight and tried to ignore him without being rude.

"The breeze off the ocean is chilly tonight," he said.

"I told you to bring a jacket," she retorted. "If you're cold, go back."

"I'm not cold," he sighed, then added shyly, "I just thought you might need me to keep you warm."

She blinked hard. Was he hitting on her? Did she want him to hit on her?
She was too old to play games like this.

"You're right. The breeze is chilly tonight and your arms around me would feel good."

As I drifted off to sleep, his arms were indeed around her and they were locked in an empassionate kiss. "Really!" I thought, "That wasn't supposed to happen."

Later in the night, I woke briefly and saw the scene again. They were still kissing. In my dream, I whispered, "Excuse me," and tiptoed away, but you know I was thinking, "For Pete's sake, get a room."

I hate it when my characters refuse to take direction and start re-writing the script. Especially when they have more fun then me.

WARNING

I was listening to TV while I was writing that last post. I finally got up to see what was on because I could not believe how stupid it was. It was that new show Creature Comforts.

I really, really, REALLY hope this is the last week it is on. I know it's just the first week, but it's so bad it's makes me not want to watch TV at all because it's polluting the airwaves.

If you haven't seen it or the previews, Creature Comforts is an animated show with cute little animal characters. The critters will probably appeal to children, but it's not a kid's show despite being on at 8 PM. Here's an example of one of their jokes: I'm bi-sexual. I like to buy sex. Believe it or not, that's not the worst thing I heard before I changed channels. But even worse are the voices. I'm still cringing.

Make Your Bed

Does anybody know why pillow cases cost so much? They are made of the same material as the matching sheets, use about half the material as one flat sheet, yet cost twice as much as both the top and bottom twin size sheets. It's not that hard to sew one - there aren't any curves or darts or hand sewing. Sometimes there's some lace along the hem, but that's not difficult.

I mention this because I recently bought a pair of "hotel quality" pillowcases from Amazon.com for $8.00. That's not a bad price for even cheap cases, but for "hotel quality" that's great. I really don't know what "hotel quality" linens are. I never noticed that the hotels I've stayed in had especially high quality linens. It is a very high thread count, 1000 + something, so they should last forever.

Of course, at my age, forever isn't what it used to be.

Sunday Morning Chatter

I haven't bought my spring flowers yet. I only have one or two pots so it's not a major undertaking, but I haven't done it yet. I've looked several times, but just looking didn't put petunias in my pot.

I almost bought plants once, at that tent by Marsh's, but the clerk ticked me off by waiting on other people even though I was at her table first so I put the plants back and left. I'm not going to beg store staff to wait on me.

While I'm on the subject, have I mentioned how nice the young people are that work at Marsh's? For the most part, they are polite, well groomed, friendly, and helpful. I even made a point to tell the manager so on at least one occasion.

For some reason, I can never spell occasion right on the first try. I usually have two many s's and/or not enought c's so I have to type it several times and by then I'm so confused I don't know what I'm writing. Thank goodness for Spell Check!

A lot of the features in MS Word don't work to my satisfaction, but Spell Check is usually very helpful, much more so than the Grammar Check function. Sometimes it is just weird. Have you noticed that occasionaly you can change a phrase at Grammar Check's suggestion only to have it suggest you use the phrase you used in the first place?


Speaking of "in the first place", I'd like to tell you that this is a picture of my petunia pot, but I'd be lying and I'm not going to lie on Sunday morning.

Searching, always searching

I learned some new things today and thought I'd pass them along.

You can use the term "safesearch:" in Google to exclude adult content. For example, safesearch: sex education won't return sites with adult contents.

The word "date:" lets you search with a range of months (3, 6, or 12 months). For example, Olympics date: 3 searches for Olympics references within the past 3 months.

Do you believe this? I didn't. I had to see for myself.


So I googled "safesearch: sex education" (the phrase used as an example by Google). Most of the sites were about safesearch, some even listed the sites that you didn't get because you used safesearch.

The fourth site on the list had pictures of a nude female torso, a young man watching a woman disrobe, and a woman suggestively eating a banana. Not quite X rated, but not PG-13 either, by my reckoning.

I tried safesearch: spankings. This should have returned numerous sites about the use and misuse of physical violence as part of parental discipline, but actually returned more "naughty" adult sites than just searching for spankings alone.

Olympic date: 3 didn't work any better than safesearch. It gave me any web site with a 3 in a date, or that contained a 3 and the word "date".

As a control, I ran the sample experiment using the Advanced Search feature Return web pages updated in the past 3 months. It appeared to work well, at least on the first page.

The safesearch option under Advanced Search worked much better than putting safesearch in the google search box, but it wasn't foolproof. I didn't see any sites with dirty pictures in the first two pages when I googled sex education.


So what did we really learn here? Well, you may not have learned much, but the experiments were kind of educational for me.