Dream On

While on my way home from work tonight I heard the song "Dream Lover". I've heard it before, many times, but tonight it rang a bell, struck a cord, lit a lightbulb.

Dream Lover is the perfect name for my pillowcase "invention". The pillowcases are for body pillows and are embellished with a picture of a movie star, athlete, singers, etc., or your favorite significant other. I've looked to see if anyone else had this idea, but couldn't find any. The closest were one that had faces of animals, a couple that were rather risque, and some floral prints. So I think it's a viable idea, a real moneymaker at Christmas.

I first thought of these pillows as something for women whose husbands or boyfriends were in the army. I thought it might be comforting for them to curl up with their own Dream Lover when the real thing was overseas.

Then I thought, hmmm, famous people would work for everybody. But I don't know how to go about getting permission to use their likeness and how much do you have to pay, etc., etc. and I'm too lazy to see this idea to fruition so anybody that wants to steal the idea may. But, please, at least provide me with free pillowcases & pillows.

I did make this idea into a party game, one that you can take with you anywhere because there are no props, no score cards, no nothing but your imagination. All you have to do to play is argue over who you want on your pillowcase.

I once played this on a car trip with two other adults of various ages. I chose Tom Selleck, John Schneider, Kyle Chandler, and Dean Johnson (the handyman on Hometime on PBS - he's good with his hands, need I say more?). Denise, who's younger, favored younger stars (some of whom I'd never heard of so the conversation would veer off into "Who's that? What do they look like?" so I could judge her selections properly) and Ronnie picked an entirely different set of cases, if you know what I mean.

Tick Tock Tick Tock

I lived with it for months. I got up in the dark and I went to work before the sun did. My body never knew if it was coming or going. But finally Daylight Saving Time is over!

Yeah, I know DST will be back next spring, but I'm going to pretend it's not.

I think I have all my clocks set back to the correct time. I was so excited I started changing them about 7 PM last night. All except the VCR. It converted back to the right time about a month after DST started and I never changed it again. Bless it's little hardware heart. If it doesn't want to go on DST it doesn't have to.

Oh, Dang! That reminded me that I forgot to check the TV & DVD in the bedroom. And the phones! I thought I got the times all changed too quickly. It will take me a week to get the correct time on all the clocks. How is this saving me time?

Time waits for no man -

even if he can't figure out what time it is. ... me

Haunted

It's almost time for Halloween. Are you too old to go trick or treating? Do you want to visit a Haunted House without the fear of wetting your pants in public? Try these on-lines sites for some fun and excitement.

KMart - Help the masked stranger avoid skeletons, black cats, and ghosts as he wanders around the haunted mansion. Funny things: he has to find a burger and bring it to a caged skeleton, he has to carry a monster to bed, and the skeletons throw bones at him when his back is turned. Not so fun: pop-up ads that interupt the game occasionally (but actually aren't too annoying)

Ben and Jerry - This isn't really a haunted house. It's just fun things for the kids to do. There's a "Flavor Graveyard" if you've been wondering where your favorite flavor went. And if you "carve" the virtual pumpkin, be sure you check out the pieces in the compost heap.

Virtual Haunted House - Click on the door bell to enter the house, then search the doors, windows, trash cans etc for the Witch. Don't be afraid to click on the spooky critters that come crawling out of the woodwork. Fun stuff: silly noises as you wait for the house to load and Witch's laugh when you finally find her.

Try some of the yummy treats at Halloween Recipes. How about a meal of Awful Arachnids, Eerie Eyeballs,and Dried Cherry Scabs?

Glory's Haunted House - This is a site for little kids. If you've got any, check out the safety tips when you knock on the front door.

OK, I lied about the excitement. But if you were afraid you'd wet your pants, I was afraid you couldn't handle excitement.

Cheap Charity

Want an easy way to help fight hunger and show support for your favorite football team?

Just vote for your favorite team at Click For Cans. Once a day, every day until midnight December 15, 2006.

The NFL team that gets the most votes will earn a donation of Campbell's® soup for the food bank of its choice. Campell's will donate one can for every pound the total team weighs! In addition, the team that improves the most in the number of clicks from last year will also receive a donation of 2,006 cans.

Let your friends and family know so they can vote too!

“To feel safe and warm on a cold wet night, all you really need is soup.” Laurie Colwin

Hot Potato

Today, class, we’re going to discuss potatoes. The much maligned potato is one of the most nutritious and versatile food crops in the world. More specifically, we are talking about “white” potatoes, not sweet potatoes. “White” potatoes are members of the nightshade family while sweet potatoes are morning-glories. (For those of you who read old mysteries, yes, some nightshade plants are poisonous. Potato leaves are poisonous, but the tubers are quite harmless as well as delicious.)

First a little history: It is believed that potatoes were first cultivated in Peru by the Incas, about 200 BC, but were not known in Europe until the mid 16th century and first grown in America about 1720. French Fries were introduced to America by Thomas Jefferson who served them in the White House from 1801 – 1809. In 1995, the potato became the first vegetable to be grown in space.

Nutrition: Did you know that one potato has only 100 calories, plus it has more potassium than a banana and more Vitamin C than an apple? Potatoes are fat-free, cholesterol-free, and a good source of fiber, niacin, and riboflavin. They are considered by some to be the “perfect food” because it is possible to stay healthy on a diet consisting only of potatoes.

Versatility: There are more varieties of potatoes than I care to name here as there are literally hundreds grown today. You can buy white, red, gold, and blue potatoes in several shapes and sizes. To prepare them, you can bake, microwave, fry, boil, or grill potatoes. You can mash, rice, shred, slice, or dice potatoes, or just leave them whole. You can serve them as hash browns, French fries, chips, salads, soups, or casseroles.

Recipes: Check out the recipes at The Healthy Potato or Idaho Potato. If you like playing with your food, try some Creepy Potatoes for Halloween (or whenever). Did you know you could make bread, cake, and even candy with mashed potatoes?

Or try my recipe for Speedy Baked Potatoes.

This makes a potato that is crispy on the outside, but fluffy on the inside, and in only 30 minutes. One potato will feed 1 - 2 people, depending on the size of the potato or the size of the person, and what you're serving on the side.

• Pre-heat oven to 425 – 450 degrees.
• Scrub one russet potato (pick a nice looking potato, about 1/2 pound)
• Poke a few holes in the potato with a fork or sharp knife.
• Place in microwave. If you want, set it on waxed paper. (I like to put the potato on a microwave-safe plate and add a couple tablespoons water, but this isn’t really necessary.)
• Microwave on high until slightly soft to the touch or until you can just stick a toothpick in it. (This will take about 5 – 10 minutes depending on the size of your potato and your microwave. You don’t want to bake the potato completely. Turn the potato over about halfway through or your potato will overbake on one side.)
• Tear off a sheet of aluminum foil at least 6 inches wide, fold in half and fold up all four sides to make a pan. (You can actually use a pie tin or other flat dish, but you don’t have to wash the foil.)
• Transfer the potato to the foil. Drizzle about 1/2 - 1 tablespoon olive oil on top of the potato, then sprinkle with coarse salt. (Do not wrap the foil around the potato – we don’t want it to steam, now do we?)
• Place the foil and potato in the oven and bake until done, about 20 minutes. (You’ll know it’s done when you can easily stick a toothpick or skewer into the potato. If the skin begins to wrinkle, it’s overdone.)
• Top with what ever you want: butter, sour cream, yogurt, cottage cheese, bacon bits, cheese, green onions, red onions, mushrooms, broccoli, chili, etc.
  

Serve with a tossed salad or fruit and there's a nice supper in 30 minutes with minimal clean up.

Deception

If I were Queen of the Universe, things would be run differently.

This weekend I bought the store brand frozen Margherita pizza from a neighborhood grocery for Saturday night supper. The picture on the box showed a light golden brown pizza crust adorned with perfectly placed plump slices of ruby red Roma tomatoes which were nestled atop a thick bed of mozzeralla cheese and ringed by a moat of rich tomato sauce. Sounds good, doesn't it?

Saturday night I opened the box to find a thin pizza shell with a few paper thin wafers of anemic tomatoes scattered and piled randomly on top of a thin layer of cheese which was surrounded by a equally thin layer of tomato sauce. What a disappointment to the eye! Actually, it didn't taste bad. But it tasted like the $3.50 pizza it was, not the sumptutious feast pictured on the outside.

If I were Queen of the Universe, that would never happen.

First Dance

As she came down the stairs, she felt as if she was floating on air. "Which is a good thing," she thought ruefully. "If I wasn't floating, I could break my neck trying to walk in these heels. How am I ever going to dance?"

She smiled at her mother who was waiting nervously by the front window.

"You look beautiful," her mother beamed. "Pink is definitely your color and that raspberry sash shows how tiny your waist is. All the other girls are going to be so jealous. Doesn't you daughter look beautiful, Henry?"

"She's always beautiful. Pink dress or muddy jeans." Henry replied with his eyes glued to the television.

"Oh, Daddy," she giggled, "look at me. Do I look all right?"

Henry turned off the TV, got to his feet, and motioned for his daughter to turn around. He frowned and pretended to study her from all angles. "When did my little girl grown up?" he wondered. "What has happened to the little girl in muddy jeans and pigtails that liked to go fishing with me?"

"Well, do I?" she insisted. "Do I look all right?"

"Princess, you're way past "all right". You are the most beautiful girl in the world, next to your mother, of course." He kissed her lightly on the forehead. ""May I have the first dance with the most beautiful girl in the world?"

Her mother laughed with them as they twirled across the living room floor. "My heart is bursting," she thought. "What did I do to deserve a daugher as sweet and beautiful as Sarah Lynn and a man so full of love as Henry?"

She began to cry, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. She tried hastily to brush them away, but the stream turned into a torrent and the accompanying sniffles alerted her husband and daughter.

Her daughter ran to her anxiously. "Mama, don't cry. What's the matter?"

"It's all right, honey," she assured her, "It's just that I never danced with my father."

Sunday morning

When I awoke Sunday morning, I opened one eye and peered at the clock. I couldn't read it, but judging by the gray light peeking through the blinds in the window it was still early. I closed my eye and tried to decide if I could go back to sleep or if I had to get up and make the morning trek to the bathroom. I hadn't gone to bed till almost four so I didn't want to leave it any earlier than necessary.

I opened the other eye and tried to focus on the clock again. 8:13? I closed my eye and considered it for awhile. Gray light, no sun. Couldn't be 8:13.

I squinted at the clock with both eyes. 8:15? That woke me enough to get both feet on the floor so I could stumble into the kitchen to look at another clock. 8:15! I separated two slats on the blinds and squinted at the morning weather in the front yard.

Everything was gray and dreary looking. Not a sign of the sun. By 8 o'clock the sun should be up and working. I don't expect it to be shining brightly, but it should at least try.

I went back to bed. If the sun don't work, neither do I.

Harumph

I haven't written anything all week. And I can't think of anything to write today. So there.

Make up your own lies and give me a break till I finish this cup of tea.

I have enough stupid of my own ...

So keep yours to yourself.

I missed Tuesday. The one day a week I don't have to think of something to write for the blog & I forgot. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

These are things that probably remind you of at least one person with whom you work. If you really think about it, they're too true to be funny.

1. I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works.
2. Did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast?
3. Were you born that stupid or do you have to work at it?
4. You’re not a complete idiot--some parts are missing.
5. How do you manage to find your way to work by yourself?
6. If you have the capacity to learn from your mistakes, you'll learn a lot today.
7. If you want to learn something, close your mouth and open your mind. Heaven knows there's plenty of room in there.
8. And your whiny-butt opinion would be...?
9. People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
10. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
11. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
12. The only two things you can do at the same time is talk and tick me off.

Postscript: I have heard that many people get more tolerant as they grow older. Well, I'm not one of them. There's only so much crap one person can bear in one lifetime and it's almost over my head now.

NO GREATER LOVE

While perusing the internet today, I read several stories about heroes around the world. I decided to share them with you because they deserve to be shared, even on an obscure little blog like this. Just ordinary people, doing their jobs, in extraordinary fashion.

Hero from New Zealand


Pes Fa'aui is a traffic warden in Waitakere, New Zealand. In the middle of a seemingly ordinary workday, Mr. Fa'aui tackled a knife welding man who had just stabbed two men and was advancing on a police officer. Without hestitation or regard for his own safety, he jumped on the killer and brought him to the ground. Mr. Fa'aui was cut severely enough during the struggle to require several stitches, but returned to work a few days after the incident.

Mr. Fa'aui denies that he's a hero. He said that the real heroes are those who face danger everyday in the armed forces, emergency services, and hospitals.


Babysitter in Idaho
In northern Idaho, a teenage babysitter shot and killed a black bear that was trying to break into the home where she was caring for three toddlers. The children were playing in the backyard when the babysitter was alerted by the oldest child screaming, "Bear!". She ran into the backyard, grabbed the children, and pulled them into the home. While the bear tried to claw through a door into the house, the babysitter loaded a hunting rifle. When the bear looked away, she opened the door and shot him.

I can't show you a picture of this heroine or even tell you her name. She refused to allow reporters to publicize her identity.

The last story is the type of which movies are made. Young, handsome serviceman, live grenade, ultimate sacrifice.

I am opposed to wars. They are an abhorrant waste of a country's resources, especially their most precious resource, human lives, but sometimes they are necessary, thrust upon a country by the stupidity of greedy, arrogant, and ambitious men. War is by nature horrific, but with that horror comes more tales of heroism, friendship, loyalty, than can be recited in a war's lifetime. This is only one of those stories.


Two weeks before he was scheduled to return home, 25 year old Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael Monsoor, on the left in the picture, was standing near the door of an Iraqi structure when a grenade hit him in the chest and bounced to the floor. "Mikey" threw himself on top of it, sacrificing his own life but saving the lives of four other SEALS.

This wasn't the first time, Monsoor behaved heroically. He was awarded the Silver Star for his actions May 9 in Ramadi, when he and another SEAL pulled a team member shot in the leg to safety while dodging gunfire.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
The Bible - John 15:13

Service Station

I like shopping at Barnes & Noble on-line.

1. They sell books
2. The prices are less than at their retail stores.
3. They keep me updated with frequent emails about my order and I get fast, free shipping.
4. If I don't like something, I can return it at one of their stores or through the mail for a full refund.
5. Their customer service people actually answer my emails.

Compare that to the "service' I got this week from Hoover/Maytag. I recently bought a new vacuum cleaner which I really liked. It's self-propelled, powerful, and easy to empty - three things my former vacuum sucked at (pun intended). The first time I used it, a wheel fell off - it appears that it may be missing a special nut to hold it in place. I can still use the vacuum, but it ticks me off that I paid money for a vacuum with a loose wheel.

I called the service center this week. Of course, I got the press one if you want to do this, press two if you want to do that, and you press one then you get a whole new menu. If you want to talk to a real person, you have to do it on your dime - they don't have a toll free number connected to live people.

I punched all the numbers to find the nearest service center and got the address for a place in the next state, about 100 miles away. The address was given so quickly I didn't have a chance to write it down and I would have had to go through the whole number punching routine again to get it. I decided to try their website because I knew there was a closer service center, and I wanted help from a person. I shouldn't have to go to so much bother to fix their error.

I had no trouble logging onto the Hoover/Maytag website, but it took a while to find the right place to send a question. I finanlly got a message sent about the nut and asked if they could just send me one. While I was writing, I told them they needed to fix their phone message.

I got an email back in two days telling me to take my vacuum to the nearest service center. They did find one that was less than 10 miles from here, but still not the closest one. And they didn't answer my question or apologize for shoddy workmanship.

What brand of vacuum do you think I'm going to buy the next time? It won't be a Hoover. I don't like to be annoyed, especially by 'customer service'.

On the road with Edward Hopper

Saturday, I ordered books & CD's from Barnes & Noble for my birthday (yesterday). As usual, I tracked the packages on the B&N and UPS websites. Sometimes it is fascinating to watch where my books go before they come home to me, but this order was fairly routine.

I ordered all the stuff from one website, yet they were shipped from three different warehouses. I received an email telling me one item wasn't available but would be shipped as soon as possible. The next day, a follow-up email notified me it was sent.

One package (with most of the stuff) was misdirected by UPS and won't arrive till Thursday. Two items came today - one was a CD of Christmas music (Burl Ives classics - I told you I was a nerd) and one was a book (The American Imagination) of Edward Hopper paintings with poems & literary works about the pictures. I thought the writings would be intertwined with the paintings, but they are in different sections with all the pictures in the back of the book.

I was telling you about tracking the packages because I checked the website this morning and my package hit the road here in town about 7:30 AM. It arrived after 5. What the heck was it doing all day?

To Men

It's Tuesday. Remember? The day I don't have to think? Here is a list I thought men would appreciate.

1. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
2. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
3. Stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly.
4. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
5. Life is like a dog-sled team... If you ain't the lead dog, the scene never changes.
6. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
7. Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
8. Guns don't kill people... but they make it real easy.
9. If nothing blows up, it ain't a movie.
10. If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.
11. Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.- Confucius
12. Sorry don't get it done, Dude. - John Wayne as John T. Chance in "Rio Bravo"

Tiny Bubbles

Yesterday, I checked out some on-line courses because it's been several months since I've taken any and one or two classes will make a nice birthday present for me. (I admit I'm a nerd and I'm proud of it.) I've narrowed down my choices to (1)"Legal Nurse Consulting" (2)"Get Funny", and (3)"Wine Appreciation for Beginners" (among others).

Maybe I should select a course to help prepare me for my next career. Let's see, do I want to (1) associate with lawyers, (2) be a smart-mouth, or (3) become a wino? I'm always up for something new and I've already done the first two.

Tiny bubbles in the wine,

make me happy, make me feel fine,

tiny bubbles make me warm all over

with a feeling that I'm gonna love you

'til the end of time.

hit-or-miss Typing method

The shift key on the left side of my keyboard only works about 30% of the time. Since i like to talk about me that's a real problem because the I's don't always get capitalized. Sometimes i use the right key to make it a 'big I" but that's awkward. See the ' in front of the I and the " after the I? That's where it worked 50% of the time. It will probably fix itself sooner or later. One key or another is always getting stuck.

I think it's time I thought about getting another computer anyway. Some of the keys on the keyboard are beginning to fade. Specifically the Fn key. I don't even know what that's for so i know I haven't been using it. On purpose anyway.

Sometimes I use the "fat-finger" method of typing and just use whatever key I hit. Hmmm. i wonder if that's why the left shift only works part of the time?

You put your finger where?

I have an odd malady that I'm going to share with you because, frankly, I lead a boring life and I have nothing else to write about at the moment. It's just a strange little affliction, nothing really weird so I can't write a book about it or anything, but it really bothers me at times.

Every time I sit down to this computer, my right ear canal starts itching. I mean really itching. Stick-a-finger-in my-ear-and-try-to-pull-it-out-the-other-side itching. Not the left side, just the right.

I’m afraid I have caught some kind of computer bug. Maybe a virus or a worm. An ear worm. That's it. An ear worm.

You know the only way to get rid of an ear worm? Pass it on.

Junked Mail

My wastebasket overfloweth. No, really, overfloweth. There's almost as many papers on the floor as in the wastebasket.


I put a wastebasket next to the chair where I read my mail in a rare attempt to be organized and uncluttered. A month later I got a bigger one. A month later an even bigger one. One day's worth of junk mail fills it almost to the brim, and two days later it's spilling over onto the floor.

I think what I need to do is rent one of those big dumpsters, park it next to the chair, then back up a dump truck once a week.

Now if I could just find a riding vacuum to match ....

The Lexicon

There are words and phrases jumping through my mind, not quite forming a coherent thought. Laughing, crying, moaning, what do they want me to say?

I try to force them onto the page.

"Come," she whispered, “Come to me."

Her voice was soft and inviting. He took a step toward her, hesitatingly and she reached out a hand. The slender fingers beckoned to him.

“Come. Come to me. I’ll not harm you.”

No. My thoughts aren't ready to take him there. I see the pictures, but the words are jumbled.

He's crouched low now, watching her. He rocks back and forth, trying to remember the long ago security of his father's arms. He can't find it and he scrowls at her, wanting to scream, "Go away! I won't go with you!" But he can't say it. He frowns at her. His brow is scrunched so hard it's hurting him.

She's floating above him. Like an angel? Like a wraith? It makes him feel so vulnerable. A smile barely brushes her lips. Her eyes are soft. He can't read them. The tilt of her head says more than the words.

Suddenly the fear swells, overwhelming him. He struggles against the terror. He holds his head with both hands, rocking faster. Not looking at her. He wants to vomit. To cry. To run. Can he outrun her? Can he even stand?

I stop thinking. I don't want to know the ending. Not yet. Not tonight.

One man's humor is another man's list of boring crap.

I have several lists of funny, provocative, things-I’d-like-to-say-in-the-office, and stupid sayings. I get them in emails and I steal them from other websites. I save them to use in the blog when I’m too lazy to think of any thing else to write. I'm sorry that I don't know who wrote most of them; they came from different sources at different times and those sources ripped ‘em off first.

Be forewarned, I have decided that I’m going to do a page of them every Tuesday- that will be the day every week when I don’t think.

1. Just wanted to let you know that I've entered the snapdragon part of my life - part of me has snapped and the rest of me is draggin'.
2. An apple a day keeps everyone away - if your aim is good enough.
3. I'd pay just about anything for a telemarketer's home phone number.
4. Ever notice how people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you mad in the first place?
5. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
6. Remember that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Cleveland.
7. If bankers can count, why do they have eight windows and only four tellers?
8. Hard work will pay off later. Laziness pays off now!
9. If you don't care where you are, then you aren't lost.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Ha! Fruit flies like a banana! Get it?

Do you see what I see?

Remember yesterday's post? You probably thought the theme was about memory. Well, that is how it ended up because I got side tracked yet again, but it started out being about the way we see things.

For example, (on the left) is this picture the face of an old army general with a hand on his chest, or do you see two people and a dog?

In the picture below, do you see a skull or a woman looking in a mirror?







Do you see the faces of two old people in the picture below, or two men sitting on the ground?












Is this picture the face of the man in the moon, or the precious face of a soon-to-be-born baby who's still tucked safe and secure in her mother's womb?

Remember when

When I worked in a hospital, the other staff and I learned a new trick for finding things. We'd switch. I looked for what Mary was hunting and she'd search for what I needed. For some inexplicable reason, it was usually easier to locate what someone else was trying to find.

If I'd spent 10 minutes looking for the gauze, Mary could stick her head in the supply closet and find it at a glance - on the shelf at eye level, in the front. And vice versa. I could do the same for one of our other co-workers. I liked to blame it on poltergeists, even though I knew it was because we can't see what's right in front of us. Yeah, I don’t like to admit it when I’m being stupid.

I did learn a good way to remember what you are looking for. You know when you enter a room and look around, then say to yourself, "Now why did I come in here?"

The trick is to try to remember why you left the other room. Think about where you where and what you were doing. Nine times out of ten that will trigger your memory so you can remember what you needed. If it doesn't work most of the time, you're just hopeless.

As usual, there is a reason I bring up this old memory, but I'm not going to tell you till tomorrow. Come back then. Maybe there will be milk & cookies.

Age doesn't make us forgetful.

Having way too many stupid things

to remember, makes you forgetful. ... Maxine