Let there be light!

I have given up on VBA for Access for the time being and am now learning VBA for Excel using the book "Microsoft Excel 2002 Visual Basic for Applications Step by Step" by Reed Jacobson. I'm not sure how much I'm retaining, but I can follow the lesson. Even though I have had the book for several years, this is the first time I've used it. I don't know why I put off reading it as I'm up to chapter 6 without becoming frustrated, or ticked off, or bored, and I think I'm learning something.

That is when I can read it. I found I frequently copied the formulas incorrectly because I couldn't see them clearly. So yesterday I bought a new lamp for my desk. One that supposedly mimics real sunshine. It helped tremendously. I could see the characters that were so elusive before, but ....

I could also see the dust on my computer screen so I had to clean that off. Then I could see the dust on my printer and had to clean that so while I was at it I cleaned the desk. And I didn't have time to work on my VBA lesson.

It's always something, isn't it?

Daydreaming Nightmares

One night last week, I noticed a strange odor in the bedroom. Strange, but not unpleasant. I picked up my flashlight and shone it to the back of the walk-in closet (the light bulb is burned out) and was momentarily started when I saw shoes on the floor that appeared to be sticking out from the bottom of the clothes. I quickly realized they were my shoes and there were no legs in them so laughed it off. But then I started making up a story about it as I continued to get ready for bed.

As usual I let it run through my mind like a play, the actors often deviating from my script to react to the scene in their own way.

Morgan had olfactory hallucinations. It bothered her that it smelled like a man's cologne that was vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t quite place the scent or the man it belonged to. She didn't like that it caused her to be uneasy in her own home.

Morgan sought reassurance from her best friend, Shelly, and invited her over for dinner. With Shelly in the house, Morgan was more embarrassed than afraid, but led Shelly into the bedroom so she could see the “crime scene” for herself. Morgan pretended to be tidying up the bureau while she told the story so she wouldn’t have to look Shelly in the face.

“Isn’t that silly?” Morgan asked, glancing at her friend to see if she was laughing at her.

On Shelly’s face was a look of horror and she stood as if turned to stone by the face of Medusa. Hesitantly, Morgan reached out a finger to touch her, to see if she was still warm.

“RUN!”

I swear Shelly's shout scared me so badly I almost peed myself.

I don’t know where that story is going, but it’s not going to bed with me at night with the lights off.

Kaboom

On Gunsmoke tonight a couple of desperadoes decided to rob the freight office. They said, "We'll just slip in there quietly at night, rob it and get out."

They used dynamite to blow the safe.

I wonder what they'd have used if they had wanted to make their presence known.

May God Bless You This Easter

Psalm 118

Thank God because he's good, because his love never quits.

Tell the world, Israel, "His love never quits."

And you, clan of Aaron, tell the world, "His love never quits."

And you who fear God, join in, "His love never quits."

Pushed to the wall, I called to God; from the wide open spaces, he answered.

God's now at my side and I'm not afraid; who would dare lay a hand on me?

God's my strong champion; I flick off my enemies like flies.

Far better to take refuge in God than trust in people;

Far better to take refuge in God than trust in celebrities.

Hemmed in by barbarians, in God's name I rubbed their faces in the dirt; Hemmed in and with no way out, in God's name I rubbed their faces in the dirt;

Like swarming bees, like wild prairie fire, they hemmed me in; in God's name I rubbed their faces in the dirt.

I was right on the cliff-edge, ready to fall, when God grabbed and held me.

God's my strength, he's also my song, and now he's my salvation.

Hear the shouts, hear the triumph songs in the camp of the saved?

"The hand of God has turned the tide!

The hand of God is raised in victory!

The hand of God has turned the tide!"

I didn't die. I lived!

And now I'm telling the world what God did.

God tested me, he pushed me hard, but he didn't hand me over to Death.

Swing wide the city gates—the righteous gates!

I'll walk right through and thank God!

This Temple Gate belongs to God, so the victors can enter and praise.

Thank you for responding to me; you've truly become my salvation!

The stone the masons discarded as flawed is now the capstone!

This is God's work.

We rub our eyes—we can hardly believe it!

This is the very day God acted — let's celebrate and be festive!

Salvation now, God. Salvation now!

Oh yes, God—a free and full life!

Blessed are you who enter in God's name — from God's house we bless you!

God is God, he has bathed us in light.

Festoon the shrine with garlands, hang colored banners above the altar!

You're my God, and I thank you.

O my God, I lift high your praise.

Thank God — he's so good.

His love never quits!

—Psalm 118, The Message

When in doubt, blame some one else.

I had a disconcerting dream last night. I don't know why it created this level of unease.

I dreamt that a handsome young man asked me out on a date. It wasn't anybody I knew in real life or in my dream world, or even in that dream. So even though he was a stranger, I said yes because I thought that was what I was supposed to do, but I couldn't help thinking, "Are you crazy? You're too old. " Then my inner voice would answer me, "It's a dream, Martha. You're dreaming, remember? You can be any age you want in a dream."

So I would be OK for a little while, just going with the flow, but then the feeling would return that I was too old and there was something creepy wrong with dating a young man.

But sometimes, I would think "It's a dream. I'm OK. But there's something terribly wrong with him."

Easter Finery

Have you bought a new outfit for Easter yet?


Here's a suggestion for a pair of shoes that will just make your outfit.



Well, they will if you plan on wearing a hospital gown and an ankle cast.

Good News!

Robert Soloway is facing a possible 26-year jail sentence after pleading guilty in Seattle on Friday to charges of fraud and tax evasion.

I love to see the bad guys get what's coming to them and 'ol Bob has been on my list of deserving guys for several years now. His crime? He was a spammer and proud of it.

Historically, the United States has been slow to criminally prosecute these low lifes but hopefully the judge will give him more than a little slap on the wrist. A big swift kick in the pants that lands him in the slammer for several decades might be a good deterents to others.

Perhaps you think his crime isn't that important. He didn't murder anybody. He just murdered our peace of mind by invading our personal email with his trash.

I hope somebody spams his jail cell. Every day of every 26 years.

Stuff

It's blanket tossing season. That means that when I toss the blankets on the bed, the temperature goes up and when I toss them on the floor the temperature goes down.

People are so annoying. Today at work someone wanted to know why I didn't write "at least 3" instead of "more than 3" because more than 3 would have to be at least 4. Do you want to guess why I wrote "more than 3"? BECAUSE I MEANT MORE THAN 3! I didn't mean 3 or more, I meant more than 3. Some people think they know everything.

Which is really annoying to those of us who actually do.

I'm trying to talk Stephanie into painting her car plaid. Pink, green, and yellow plaid. She's game, but we have no idea how to go about it.

The current selection of TV shows is more crappy than usual. Even the local PBS has nothing but Give-Us-Money crap shows. Do you think the PBS boat is sinking? The station here has pledge drives going on with the same old tired shows at least 25% of the year and the rest of the time they have less and less regular programming that interests me.

That's enough stuff for today.

Don't ask me

what time it is 'cause I don't know. Daylight Saving Time started last night.

I changed most of the clocks before I went to bed, but I don't know how to change the VCR and besides it will change itself sooner or later. It does that occasionally - sometimes it adds an hour sometimes it subtracts, but mostly it's right on the minute so I leave it alone. Who am I to tell it that the time is wrong?

I don't know how to change the time on the phone either. It wasn't right yesterday so apparently I never knew how to set it in the first place, but I rarely look at a phone went I want to know the time.

And I never bother to change the clock in the bedroom. That way I know what time it really is.

Ironic Messages

This morning on my way to work I followed an SUV that was a rolling advertisement for a local car dealership. There were decals here, there and everywhere on the back end.

A message, just above the bumper, stretched across the car, "We're closer than you think."

Just above that message was a big ol' dent in the left rear door.

I guess they were a lot closer than somebody thought.

Marching on

It's March, you know.

Spring is just a step away.

Are you familiar with that old saying "In like a lion, out like a lamb"? Is the opposite true? I'm asking because we've started March out with exceptionally mild days, and no rain to speak of. (Quiet! I just told you not to speak of it. You may have seen rain, but I did not.)

Anyway, if "in like a lamb, out like a lion" holds true, we're in for some blustery weather in about 4 weeks.

Don't say I didn't warn you.