HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It's already 2011 for half the world and in a few hours it will be 2011 for the rest of us too.  Maybe this will be the year for fame and fortune for me, though I'll gladly "settle" for anonymity and a few extra bucks.

But for you: I wish many good things.  Whatever makes you satisfied.  When you're as old as me you'll learn that's more important than striving to be happy. 

One more time:

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

MAY GOD SHOWER YOU WITH BLESSINGS!

The weather outside is frightful

The unusually cold and snowy weather played havoc with some people's holiday plans.  People trying to get away from home are stuck in airports with others who are trying to get back home.  Two inches of snow in southern states are producing panic in adults and joy in their children.  I saw a picture of one delighted girl building a snowman in her pajamas.  Yes, she was wearing the pajamas, not the snowman.

I saw this on the Channel 6 site for Christmas day:
     Record High: 64° in 1893
     Record Low: -15° in 1983

Did you notice the years?  They have the same digits, just not in the same order. 

The Salvation Army reported that contributions were down this year while the requests for assistance were up.  They didn't blame the recession for the lack of contributions - it was the weather.  But you don't have to go out in the snow to donate.  If you had a nice Christmas, help someone else out by giving to the Salvation Army at https://secure20.salvationarmy.org/donation.jsp

HAPPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS!

Luke 2:9-14


And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. (10) And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy that will be for all the people. (11) For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. (12) And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, (14) “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!” “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”

Merry Christmas!

Tomorrow is Christmas, December 25, 2010.  Just in case you didn't know, but I'm sure you did. 

I just put a pumpkin pie and an apple pie in the oven for dinner tomorrow.  It's beginning to smell like a holiday in here.

Dinner's main course will be Roast Cranberry Pork with Jamaican Sweet Potatoes made with fresh pineapple.  I had mashed potatoes on the menu just because I like mashed potatoes but now I think I should serve scalloped potatoes or maybe even rice or macaroni and cheese.  I know macaroni and cheese is a traditional Christmas dish for many families.  But not mine.

But then I don't remember having pork roast for Christmas dinner before either.  But it was half price and with cranberries, it will be appropriately festive.

I had broccoli on the menu too, but I think I'll change that to sauted cabbage because I'm having broccoli soup for supper tonight.  I really wanted brussel sprouts but I forgot to buy them.   I had applesauce on the menu, but I used the apples in the apple pie and since I'm having cranberries, pineapple, and apples in other dishes, nobody needs the applesauce.

I hope you are well fed this holiday and showered with blessings.  I don't mean gifts (though those are nice too).  I mean the kind of blessings that you can carry in your heart all year.

With love from my house to yours.

Merry Christmas!

May God bless you and yours.

Winter is Here

Winter officially started yesterday.  It started off with a fluffy white layer of snow, then it dropped a layer of glistening ice, then it hoisted temperatures above freezing for the first time in a couple of weeks.

OK, we've seen what you can do, Mr. Winter.  Now you can go home. 

Free Financial Software

Did you know that Microsoft is offering free downloads for Money Plus Sunset Deluxe and Money Plus Sunset Home and Business? 

Money Plus Deluxe Sunset – designed to replace Essentials, Deluxe and Premium
Money Plus Home & Business Sunset – designed to replace Home & Business

Answers to questions you may have about this deal:

1. Microsoft is no longer selling Microsoft Money, and they aren't supporting the software they've already sold OR the Sunset versions.  After January 31, 2011, you're on your own.  
2. There is no required activation, no online services, and no assisted support for the Sunset versions. 
• No "required activation" means you can move it from one computer to another without a product code.
• No "online services" means you can't get online quotes, online updates from banks, or do online bill paying through the application.
3. You don't need to have Microsoft Money installed on your computer to install a Sunset version. 
4. It's compatible with Windows XP, Windows Vista, and Windows 7
5. You can get additional information and download either version at:  http://www.microsoft.com/money/sunset.mspx

I have only used it for about one hour so I don't have enough experience with it to recommend or not recommend it, but it did take less than two hours to set up checking and savings accounts, auto bill reminders, and enter a few transacttions. 

If you're making a New Year's resolution to keep better track of your money, you can't beat this price. 

Let it snow!

SOMEPLACE ELSE

We're only halfway through December and we already have 4 more inches of snow than normal, we're 20 degrees colder than normal, and it's not even Winter.

I am so looking forward to Spring! The other side of Winter has to be greener than this.

A Job in the Hand

Have you ever noticed how some jobs get in the way of living?
If you’ve ever been out of a job, you probably noticed that the lack of a regular paycheck can have the same effect.

A couple of months ago the Dumass Corporation unceremoniously moved me to another division without warning or explanation.  I found out by watching a companywide PowerPoint presentation.  Too many managers in that company and none could take the time to tell me face to face, or phone to phone, or even email to email.

I don't care if that's the way Dumass executives do business today, it's wrong to treat employees with less respect than one would treat disposable office supplies.  Morally, ethically, and economically wrong.

I'm normally very modest so when I say I was at least 75 - 80% responsible for the success of my former unit,  I hope you know that I'm still being modest.  I think the Dumasses think I’m going to work similarly hard for the new unit, but they’re WRONG!

I’m looking for another job, or to retire.  My head (and bank statement) tells me I’m too young to retire.  I have had two careers in my life.  Lots of jobs, but only two careers.  I think it’s time I started on my third, but I may have to stay with that soul-sucking job long enough to pay for training for the next one.

I just wish I knew what I was going to be when I grow up.

Apple Pie

I baked an apple pie yesterday.   Home made crust and fresh apples and all.

One of the nicest things about baking (maybe right next to eating it) are the memories that are called to mind with all the mixing, and stirring, and measuring, and peeling. 

I make good pie crust.  Now.  The first one I made, maybe 50 years ago, was so tough it permanently loosened the blade on the knife we used to cut it.

As I was peeling the apples I caught a glimpse in my mind's eye of an old woman I saw once somewhere in the country peeling apples on her front porch.  She was using one of the largest butcher knives I've ever seen, but still did a darn good job of peeling and she still had all her fingers.  (I'm not advocating the use of a butcher knife or any large knife to peel an apple or any other fruit or vegetable.  Just because she could do it, doesn't mean you can.)

My mother used to make her fruit pies rather thin.  I always thought she was just being frugal but I found out later in life that she made her pies thin because that's the way she liked them.  I like plump, juicy pies.

When I grate a nutmeg , the aroma takes me right back to Grandma's kichen with the red table and chrome chairs and Grandpa sitting on the end next to the back door.

Surprise!

I was looking at the calendar today and was suprised to see January 1, 2011 as the date for the last Saturday on the calendar page. 

How did that happen?  How did 2011 get here so fast?  Wasn't it just a couple of years ago we were worried about the millenium?  Surely it wasn't more than a few years ago that I was still young and had more than half my life in front of me.

Hurtling through time.
Trying to put on the brakes, but there's no time to stop.
No time to breathe.
I keep plodding along and life keeps rushing by
Like there was no tomorrow.

Don't even breathe!

I was wrong when I said that last piece of persimmon pudding gave me an uncomfortably full feeling.   Either I have left lower lobe pneumonia or I shouldn't have rented that exercise video with the crazy lady who promised to "work you like a daaaawg". 

Every time I take a deep breath I have a pain in my left side just beneath my rib cage and "deep" is relative.  Reletive to how much pain I can stand at any given moment.

The video is mis-titled.  Instead of "Walk with Joyce Vedral - A Low Impact Walking Workout" it should be called "Dance Till It Hurts".  I only danced with Joyce 15 minutes on Thursday morning and I'm still in pain. 

But I swear I think my waist on the left side is a half an inch smaller than it was before those 15 minutes.  And I learned some nifty little dance steps.  As soon as I can breathe normally I'm going back and try to reduce the right side. And if I can get that swing in my hips that Joyce has in hers I think I can take a few inches off the hips in thirty minutes.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving dinner. 

I only ate one meal today but it lasted from 2 to 6 and now, at 8:30, I'm still a little uncomfortably full.  It was that last piece of persimmon pudding that put me over the top.

But it was worth it.


Thanksgiving is the holiday of peace, the celebration of work and the simple life... a true folk-festival that speaks the poetry of the turn of the seasons, the beauty of seedtime and harvest, the ripe product of the year - and the deep, deep connection of all these things with God. ~Ray Stannard Baker (David Grayson)

Persimmon Pudding

I'm making persimmon pudding for Thanksgiving dinner.   I haven't had any for years and the anticipation is almost more than I can bear.

The local grocery store where I used to buy persimmon pulp went out of business years ago.  The chain store that bought them out carried it for a few years afterwards, but I haven't seen persimmon pulp there for ages.  Imagine my surprise and joy when a few weeks ago I spied the amber ambrosia hidden among the every-day frozen fruits.  Then imagine my shock when I saw the price.

But how do you put a price on memories?  The memory of the seedless persimmon tree next to the Blue Lick church?   Grinding out the pulp in Mother's old food mill?  The puckery taste of a raw persimmon transformed into a pudding fit for the gods?

You can't.  

Persimmon pudding is something of an acquired taste. It's not for everyone and I hesitate to share my puddings with the unappreciative. So make your own. 



Persimmon pudding has it's own web site at http://www.persimmonpudding.com/ where you can find recipes with personal notes from other pudding lovers.  Pick the simplest recipe you can find.  No need for gourmet folderol.

Today's News

I read the on-line news headlines this morning as is my wont, searching for anything interesting, intertaining, or educational.  It was kind of depressing.  And then I read about the dog-poop powered lamp - at last a bright spot in the news.  ("bright spot" - "lamp", get it?)

An ingenious young man, Matthew Mazzotta, converted dog poop in a park into a power source for a street lamp.  Read the whole story at petside.com.

Sure beats setting a bag of poop alight for the neighbor's front door.

It's cold outside

Not so very cold, but too cold for comfort.  And it's a typical Indiana November gray-day.  I shouldn't complain because this November has been fairly sunny, give or take a few days of rain, fog, and yucky, but I haven't seen snow yet.  Snow is OK in it's place and that's outside with me inside.

I went to the store earlier today.  I put on a top and a sweater, thought about it, then put took off the sweater and the top and put on a vest, then the top and the sweater.  I put my ol' faithful jacket on over that.  I should be ashamed to be seen in public wearing that jacket, but I'm not.

 It was 42 degrees outside, not freezing, but no where near warm.  The first person I saw as I was driving away was a kid in shorts and a sweatshirt playing with a soccer ball.  Teen-agers are stupid.  The next person I saw was a twenty-some year old in a short sleeve knit top and blue jeans.  Twenty-some year old girls are stupid.

Old ladies are warm.

whatareyagonnado

I didn't sleep well last night. Well, technically, I slept well, I didn't sleep long.

Once I woke up before 5 AM, I started obsessing about the Dumass Corporation employees who like to live up to the company name.  I know I shouldn't.  I know it's not mature.  I know it's not healthy.  I know it won't solve anything.  But ...... whatareyagonnado?

Anyway, after 45 minutes of tossing and turning and teeth grinding, I got up.

I went back to bed about 3 this afternoon because I was so sleepy I felt ill despite the nap I took while watching  Planet Earth: Oceans.   It was so light in the room I didn't think I could sleep, but I did and when I woke it was so dark in the room I thought I'd slept into the middle of night, but it was only 6.

It gets dark so early now.  If you ask me, this is when we need to spend some of that daylight we saved all summer.

But ...... whatareyagonnado?

Salute!

Salute: to express commendation of; as in "I salute your dedication to duty."

Today is Veteran's Day 2010 so I want to send out a big salute and Thank You to the men and women of the armed forces today.  I keep you and your families in my morning prayers. 

If you want to know more about Veteran's Day read the History of Veterans' Day on the Department of Veterans' Affairs web page.

The National Geographic has a good article on Veterans Day 2010.

There is a slide show about Congressional Medal of Honor recipients on the Huffington Post toay.   More than facts and dates about Veterans Day beginnings and observances, these pictures and accompanying stories explain why we set aside a special day in November to remember, to honor, and to salute. 

I almost missed it!

You know I don't appreciate daylight saving time now anymore than I did when it was first introduced in Indiana several years ago.  If someone could actually save daylight and give it back to me in the middle of winter, I might see some point to it. 

It takes my body days to adjust to the new schedules twice a year.  I don't know when to go to bed, when to get up, when to eat.  And I'm not the only one.

Today, one of my co-workers went to the cafeteria for lunch at what she thought was 11:30, but they weren't open yet.  She was a little peeved and the cafeteria staff was a little puzzled as to why she thought they should be open for lunch at 10:30 when they always open at 11.  She eventually realized she had forgot to set the clock on her desk back and her stomach thought it was lunch time so she was ready to eat at the normal time.

Except it wasn't normal at all.  When governments insist on playing around with time, there's nothing normal about time.

Time may fly, but flies still can't tell time.

Excuse me!

Or as Steve Martin would say "Well, excuuuuuuuse me!"


Whatever happened to the phrase "Excuse me"?   Am I the only one left in the world that knows those two words?

Today at work getting on the elevator I smiled and said "excuse me" to a woman getting off the elevator that I almost ran over because she was talking to a friend and tarried awhile inside the elevator before disembarking so I didn't realize that she wanted off.  She just scrowled at me. 

Then when the elevator got to my floor, I said "excuse me" to a woman getting on the elevator as I was getting on and she was in such a hurry to get in that she blocked the exit with her fat butt so I could barely get out.  She just scrowled at me. 

So as I walked away I said "And excuse you, too".

I'm always saying that for rude shoppers who don't know how to articulate the words. 

Honestly, boys and girls, most shoppers will move aside if you just say "Excuse me" and then you won't have to reach around, over, and/or under them to reach a jar of pickles.

They may scrowl at you, but they'll probably move.

Especially if you accompany it with a hip check.

Fall Festival

I organized a "fall festival" at work last week to help improve the moral in our office last week.  (Helped mine a little until I got kicked by the Dumass management team.)

Anyway, I found a super easy recipe to share with you.  The muffins do come out moist even without oil & eggs, they are good for you, and they taste really good (which is the main thing).

Easy Pumpkin Muffins
Makes 18 cupcakes

 Ingredients: 

1 box (18.25 oz) spice cake mix (can substitute yellow, white, carrot, or chocolate cake mix)
1-15oz can of pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling)
1/2 cup water

Add-ins: About 1/2 - 1 cup (total) of chocolate chips, nuts, raisins, and/or dried cranberries (optional)

Directions: 

1. Mix first three ingredients in a large bowl until well blended. (Use a mixer – it’s much easier)
2. Stire in the add-ins if used.
3. Place into lined muffins pan and fill a little more than 3/4 of the way full.
4. Sprinkle a little streusal on top of each muffin if desired.
4. Bake at 400 degrees for approximately 20 - 25 minutes.

Streusal Topping (optional)

1/4 cup flour
2 Tablespoons brown sugar
2 Tablespoons butter or margarine
Mix together with fingers or pastry cutter until it looks like coarse crumbs.


Recipe notes:

This is a common receipe on the internet.  I saw some that didn't use the water, but I recommend it.  I saw others recommended applesauce instead of water - I'm going to try that some time.  Some recipes bake the muffins at 350 degrees, others at 400.  I baked mine at 400 and it still took 25 minutes.

I used cranberries in 6 of my muffins, they didn't rise as high but they were good to eat.

Spice cake mix can be hard to find.  If you use a yellow or white cake mix you may want to add the following spices with the cake mix in step one:  

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

I saw a box of Butter Pecan cake mix that I bet would be an excellent substitute for the spice cake.

These muffins are a little uninteresting on top (some might consider them ugly) so you may want to add a little powdered suger to the tops of the cooled muffins, or powdered sugar mixed with a little cocoa, or a cream cheese icing, but I prefer a streusel topping.  You can add 1/4 tsp cinnamon to the topping recipe if desired and/or 1/4 cup chopped nuts.

I saw some recipes that added oats, or shredded apples, or whatever struck their fancy, so experiment with the recipe if you like.  Bananas were on sale this week so I bought 2 bunches on different days but they all seem to be ripening at the same time.  I wonder if this recipe would work with mashed bananas?

Welcome to My Pity Party

I'm still upset about the way I was treated at the Dumass Corporation.  My brain rejects the idea that I'm over-reacting.  How do I work at a place that doesn't give a fig about hard work and rewards kiss-assery? 

I'm good at work, but I can't kiss up to management to save my job. 

Not many people will come to a pity party.

They never promised you a rose garden

I don't know what to do. 

1. Quit my job at the Dumass Corparation now,
2. Wait to quit until I find another job, or
3. Stay and be a number 1 pain in their backside for a few more months.  (I'm good at everything I do so I'm sure I could be an extraordinarily irritating PIA.)

I won't go into details in case someone at the Dumass Corporation should happen to stumble upon this blog and recognize him/her self and I haven't completely ruled out # 2 or # 3 yet, but they've really ticked me off.   I've already written my resignation letter, but it needs a little polishing before I mail it.  To say the least, it may be slightly rude.

Somebody asked me today how I could be so calm about it.  How do I explain that I'm so mad I can't sleep.  I can't read.  I can't even watch TV.   If I stop being calm ... I quit.  I'm not ruling that out, mind you, but by the time you get to be my age you've learned to be a little cautious.   Timing is everything whether you're baking a cake or telling management at the Dumass Corporation where to go.

Tell me something.  Why do managers go out of their way to make themselves such jackasses? 

Are there any managers out there who would be willing to answer that question? 
Well, don't bother.  You're a manager, therefore, you're a liar.  It's in your contract.  The jackass contract.

Make a plan

One of my friends and his wife are expecting twins in December. They needed to plan that better. It's bad enough being a twin and only getting half a birthday present and half a Christmas present, but if you're a twin and born a week or two before Christmas, well, the kids will be lucky to get half a present for both birthday and Christmas combined.

Iwanta

I want a chocolate chip oatmeal raisin peanut butter cookie.
But ...
I don't have any chocolate chips and I'm out of peanut butter

And then they turned out the lights

TV lost one of its favorite mothers Saturday when Barbara Billingsly died.  Today it lost one of its greatest dads when Tom Bosley died at the age of 83.  Mr. Bosley played Howard Cunningham on Happy Days for 11 years.

Johnny Sheffield who played Boy in the 1940's Tarzan films with Johnny Weismuller. I saw the movies (over and over) on TV so that sort of makes him a TV child star even though by the time I saw them he was no longer a child.

And then they turned off the lights at the Liberace museum because of low attendance.  Liberace was known for several things besides his musical talent and excessive opulence was one of them.   

And then they turned out the lights and said good-night.  "Good night," she whispered softly, "Sweet dreams."

Knowledge: Is it the key or the lock?

I like to learn new things.  How to do things.  How to say things.  How things work.  How to work things.

The more I learn the more I learn that I need to learn more.

What I like to learn and what I need to learn changes from year to year.   When I'm lucky, the need and want are the same things.

"What brought this up?" you may well ask and I'm glad you did because it leads into the purpose of the post: I discovered some learning websites to explore and share with you. 

Self Made Scholar, your gateway to Free Online Education.  Jamie's site is an excellent resource for life-long learners.  Read the articles and explore Free Classes, Free Libraries, and Self Education Resources.  You're bound to learn something.

You know one of my favorite words is Free, but I'm not opposed to paying for learning opportunities.

1. Educators deserve to make money. 
2. Traditional on-site courses with instructor and peer interactions offer more than just "book learning".   

The second blog to learn more about is eduFire.   Their courses aren't free, but they range from relatively inexpensive to pretty darn cheap.  The eduFire site is less than 2 years old and I don't know much about it, but here's what I've learned from what I've read today.

• Their goal is to revolutionize education.
• Courses are "live" with real instructors.
• Instructors offer the classes they want to teach and set their own tutition (I saw classes from $5 - $50 a session).
• Some courses are one-on-one.
• There's an on-line forum to allow tutors and students to communicate with each other.
• They're having some growing pains, but appear to be working them out.

When's the last time you got something free from the government?  Free (Federal Resources for Educational Excellence) is a resource site for "federally supported teaching and learning resources" for grades K through 12.   There are a bunch of learning opportunities here.

Knowledge: Is it the key or the lock?  You tell me.

Good night, Mrs. Cleaver.

I just read that June Cleaver (aka Barbara Billingsly, aaka mother of Wally and the Beav) died today at the age of 94.  MSN had two pictures with the article: one of Ms. Billingsly as June Cleaver and another picture of a lovely old lady that made me exclaim, "My goodness, she's aged a lot since I last saw her on TV! I don't even recognize her." 

On second look, I don't think it was her at all.  I think it's a picture of Gloria Stuart who died in September at the age of 100.  I doubt if Ms. Billingsly would appreciate my mistaking her for a woman of 100.

I'm not sure exactly why MSN placed a picture of Gloria Stuart so prominently in an article about Barbara Billingsly unless it was to lead the reader to their gallery of other celebrities who died in 2010. 

Free at Last

The Chilean miners have been freed from their underground prison more than 2 months ahead of schedule.  Thank God, a caring worldwide community, modern technology, and the tenacity and strength of the miners themselves.

 It just goes to show what can be accomplished when people work together instead of fighting each other.  I'm not naming names, but you know who you are.

All in all it was a good day.

I bought a new computer today.  And a new monitor.  And a new vacuum sweeper.   So I had left over pizza for lunch and leftover chocolate birthday cake with peppermint icing.

Today is my birthday

10/10/10 - that's my birthday this year.  It's suppose to be a lucky number because it's binary for 42 which is supposed to mean something profound. Or so I've been told.  Frankly, at my age I'm lucky just to be able to get out of bed in the morning.

In My Opinion - Rehashed

I have strong opinions.  I've been around the block a few times and I've been observant.  So I think what I think because I'm right.   Just in case nobody noticed the last time I expressed these opinions I'm telling you again.  It will give you something to talk about at dinner tonight.

Food:
I bought one of those new "gourmet" (read more expensive) frozen dinner for two the other night.  The package said it contained two 1 1/2 cup servings, but it only contained 11 oz.  No matter how you measure it that does not equal 3 cups which is 24 ounces by American measurement.  I'm not sure what measurement the food companies are using now days.  Lilliputian?  Surely this is being monitored by some government agency.  I fear they may not know how to add or multiply and thus haven't discovered these discrepancies.  Or possibly they think the American public are too stupid to notice. Too jaded, too "used to it", too tired to complain, maybe, but most of us aren't that stupid.

Business:
I recently saw some news on TV and read more on-line that have driven me to once again bring up the fact that executives that EXPECT multi-million dollar salaries and bonuses while firing good workers and denying them pay raises are morally and ethically bankrupt and such mind-think is socially and economically reprehensible.  The American workforce is being held hostage by these money-grubby, self-indulgent, self-important (add your own expletive).  Possibly they think the American workers are too stupid to notice. Too jaded, too "used to it", too tired to complain, maybe, but most of us aren't that stupid.  And most of us are complaining.  What we need now is action. 

Television:

Why do they call "reality shows" reality shows?  There's very little real about them.  This is a definition of reality television from Wikipedia: "Reality television is a genre of television programming that presents purportedly unscripted dramatic or humorous situations, documents actual events, and usually features ordinary people instead of professional actors."  The key word there is "purportedly" (as the Wikipedia article goes on to explain (See? It's not just my opinion).  Many of these "reality shows" are scripted, edited, re-shot, and otherwise manipulated.  Many of the "ordinary" people are want-a-be actors.  And excuse me, but professional actors are "ordinary".  They may have a talent for acting, but can they do what us "ordinary" people do at our jobs every day for a whole lot less money?  Some of us save lives, protect lives, make lives more comfortable for others, protect the environment, clean the environment, teach others, bless others.  There's nothing ordinary about most of us.


That's just a few of my opinions.  Most of them I keep to myself.  Most of the time. 

Some of them.  Some of the time.

Happy Birthday

to my brother who is almost as old as his older sister but a lot older than me.

It's raining

Of course it's raining.
It's the first day of my vacation.
We have had a record-setting drought for the past month, but today, the first day of my vacation, it's raining.

I apologize to all the farmers in Indiana for not taking my vacation sooner.

The Fall Season

Fall arrived in Indiana unnoticed this past week.  The temperatures were still in the high 80's and even high 90's.  Not typical Indiana fall weather. 

Besides the cool weather, I think the fall television series was late in arriving.  It started last Saturday with The Apprentice.  No celebrities this season, just real life want-a-bes.  I'm never sure what the contestents on The Apprentice want to be when they grow up, but a lot of them have a long way to reach maturity.  Not age wise, but in wisdom, and manners, and interacting with other people.  If you like verbal brawling, this should be a good season.  And I won't be surprised if there are fisticuffs before too many episodes have passed.

Monday I watched Chuck.  A good solid show, nothing too exciting, but you could watch it with your grandma and not be embarrassed.  On the other end of that spectrum was 2 1/s Men, it was just raunchy.  Not even funny.  Just raunchy.

Dancing with The Stars (DWTS) was entertaining in spots, not so much in others.

Mike & Molly was just one wise crack after another with just enough dialogue to establish an offensive plot that nobody can love a fat girl except a even fatter guy.  And it wasn't just fat people they offended.   As a co-worker said, "They managed to insult everybody."  She has a bet with her boyfriend that it will last 5 more episodes.  He gives it 3.  I watched 15 minutes before I switched it off, but I think it will last till the end of the season. 

15 minuties is longer than I watched Hawaii 5-0.  I kept waiting for the violence to end, but I couldn't wait that long so I switched to Castle, tjen fell asleep before it was over.  The same co-worker told me that the violence never did end in Hawaii but they liked the show.

If you're wondering how I can watch so many shows on one night it's because I haven't watched an entire TV show since they invented the remote control.

Tuesday is a really busy night for me.  I watched NCIS - a really good show with likable characters who know how to act, the end of DWTS, and The Biggest Loser (I know they're going to kill somebody one of these years).  And a few minutes of Glee - I wish they'd get teenagers to play the high school students.  Oh and I watched Detroit 187.  From the description I thought it was going to be a shoot-em-up, run of the mill cop show and didn't plan on watching it, but it was actually OK. Played a lot of music that I normally wouldn't like but it seemed to fit a show set in Detroit.  I read there were some procedural errors in the show which made it kind of stupid, but it's fiction.   (I don't like medical shows that aren't accurate and I suppose most police officers feel the same about police shows and there really is no excuse for glaring mistakes in today's media even if it is fictional.  Hire a good consultant or give the writers free access to Google. Oh, yes Google is already free to everybody.)

On Wednesday I watched Hell's Kitchen (can't stand that show, but I never miss catching a few minutes here & there.  They have the most disgusting cooks - they all seem slightly icky), Survivor (about 10 minutes worth), Criminal Minds, and The Defender (it was OK but I fell asleep before it was over.), and I watched some of Law and Order.

Thursday I watched the best comedy presently on TV, The Big Bang Theory.  It didn't let me down.  It has an adult theme but managed to do it so you could watch it with your grandmother and not be too embarrassed.  CSI: Las Vegas was interesting but I think they've done the ending before on another show like Law and Order or maybe Numbers, and I watched The Mentalist (I like that show but I fell asleep and didn't see the end of it.  Even if the show wasn't good I like looking at Simon Baker.)

Friday night used to be a great night to watch TV, now not so much.  The only show I watched was Blue Bloods and I fell asleep and didn't see the end of it.  Not sure I'll like this show even if Tom Selleck is in it occassionally.  It had some stupid minutes, probably more than Detroit.

Saturday was another night of Golden Comedy back in the past when the Golden Girls and other iconic shows were on.  Now it just mostly stinks with reruns I didn't want to watch during the week.  I used to watch PBS British shows on Saturday, but I don't like the line up they've had on for the last year or so.  I like As Time Goes By but I've seen it so many times that I know the dialogue almost as well as the actors and sometimes Masterpiece Theater is good but mostly not so much lately or they play the same shows over and over.  And over.  So the only thing I watched Saturday was New Tricks.  It started at 11 but I didn't go to sleep till it was over. 

I haven't seen any new shows on Sunday yet, but The Amazing Race 17 starts tonight - it's scheduled to start after 60 Minutes which starts after football which means I'll probably miss the beginning because football never ends on time.  (Do you know the difference between a football minutes and a basketball minute? About an hour.) And after that is Undercover Boss which last year was surprisingly entertaining.  Extreme Home Makeover is on but I'm getting tired of that.  Desperate Housewives is on also.  Last year is wasn't so good, but maybe this year will be better.  Wallander is on Masterpiece Theater and I've been wanting to watch one of his episodes to see if I like it or not.  I've never seen it yet so I guess PBS does occasionally show something new.  I hope that doesn't mean it's boring.

Thank goodness I'm too cheap to pay for cable.

Where's there a need

Today I looked through the Fall Clearance at Barnes & Noble. I spotted a book titled "Idiots Guide to Organizing" and I said to myself, "I could really use that book!"

A moment later, I replied, "I already have that book ... but I have no idea where it's at."

I really, really, really need that book.

Nothing

There's nothing to say today. I was going to write about the TV shows I watched this week, but suddenly I'm too dizzy to think straight. I hate when that happens.

Paraprosdokian sentences:

My cousin likes to send me emails that she thinks are funny or insightful or uplifting. Sometimes she is right.

I got this email from her today about paraprosdokian sentences. I'm not sure all of them are paraprosdokian, but I'm not exactly an expert. Heck, I can't even pronounce it.

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they
can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In an emergency, notify:" I put " A DOCTOR."

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt... plus a slice of lemon... and a shot of tequila.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

Saturday

I bought a new Wii exercise game today: Jillian Michaels Fitness Ultimatum 2010.  Because it was in the clearance aisle at Target, that's why.

Either I still have a cold or I have fall allergies.  It's a toss up as to which one has my nose alternately dammed up or running like a spring creek after the first thaw.  Doesn't matter which it is, the oxygen flow to my brain and lungs is impeded, blocked, non-existent.

You may be wondering what that has to do with Jillian Michaels Fitness Utimatum 2010.  Well, those are my excuses as to why I gave up after 24 minutes.  It took me 15 minutes to get started.  Then I ran with her for 5 minutes.  She did mention something at the end of the jog about me not being committed.  Or maybe she said You should be committed. 

Anyway, I survived that so I went on to try the lunge kick.  Nobody told me I had to be co-ordinated to play with Jillian. 

I was always standing on the left foot when the left foot was supposed to be kicking or I was kicking with the right foot when it was supposed to be lunging or both feet were trying to go back when one was supposed to go foreward.  And lets not talk about the push-ups at all. 

And you know what?  She didn't put a Quit button or I Give Up button or Panic button  on the game.  Jillian expects you to just keep going till you drop.

Here's a tip: if you pull the plug, she'll quit.

I really need a nap.

Holiday

Today is National Grandparents Day. 

Know what?  Ron Howard is a grandpa.  Yeah, little Opie Taylor has grandchildren.  How old does that make you feel?


I miss my grandparents.  I grew up in a family of 6 kids, a middle child in a set of middle children.  One sister a year older, one a year younger.  Give or take a few months.

In my grandparents' home I had peace.  Peace to love and be loved.  That's all that a grandchild really needs.

I hab a cold

Of course, I do.  I have a 3-day weekend off and I have a cold.  I know who gave it to me. She got sick during the week so took 1 1/2 days off work but first she came to work at the height of her cold when she was snotting all over the place and sharing her germs, if you know what I mean. 

One and one half days doesn't sound like much time off but she doesn't come to work much anyway what with one thing or another.  And there's a good chance she'll still be too sick on Tuesday to go to work.

I'll be better by then, of course.  So I can go to work.  Wouldn't want to miss work at the good ol' Dumass Company, would I?

I'm not very nice when I'm sick.

My prayers are getting longer

Have you been reading about the 33 trapped miners in Chile?  They were there 17 days before they were discovered to be alive and now they are being told it may be 4 months before they can be freed.

I can not imagine having to work more than a mile underground.  To be trapped there for 5 months is beyond my comprehension.  That's half a year.  No sunlight, no stars.  No trees, no grass, no flowers.  Nothing but the same gray walls everywhere you look.  The same 32 people day in and day out. 

And to get home, they are going to havng to climb into a capsule that will be in a 28" diameter hole and travel over a mile to the surface.  Most airplane passenger seats aren't 28 inches wide and you know how cramped those things are.     

There is news from Chile that a new plan might get the miners out in 2 months instead of 4.  That's good news, but still!  

Pray for these men and their families.  And for the men and women working to get them out. 

Let's chat

I'll go first.

The watermelon I bought last week for $1.99 wasn't very good.  It was OK, but I've had better.  On the other hand, the canteloupe was better than I thought it would be. 

I finished my Excel Macro course and only have one week to go with the Access 2007 one.  Then I'm going to start an Access Developers course - it's probably over my head, but I won't know if I don't try. 

I got a jar of couscous the other day.  I've never fixed couscous before so I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do with it.  I could only find one recipe using couscous in my cookbooks so I guess I'll have to Google it or buy a Mediterranean cookbook.  I like trying new foods.

Speaking of Mediterranean cusine - I found a new summer salad like I like a lot and it's easy to prepare.  You don't have to measure anything - just do it to taste.  If you like more tomato, add more tomato. Peel your cucumber or not, as you prefer.  
Cucumber Tomato Salad for One
Ingredients

Cucumber (about 1/2 cup)
Tomato (about 1/4 cup)
Peppers (about 2 Tablespoons) - Green, red, yellow, and/or Orange - This is an optional ingredient
Celery (about 2 Tablespoons) - another optional ingredient
Olive Oil
Vinegar
Pepper

Directions
Mix a capful of vinegar and about a half capful of olive oil together in a small bowl that has a lid.
Chop up the vegetables in bite-size pieces (not too fine, not too big) and add them to the vinegar and oil.  Add a little pepper to taste.  Toss everything lightly to coat the vegetables.  You can serve it immediately but it's better if you put it in the refrigerator for a while or overnight.  Shake or stir it a little everytime you open the refrigerator door to redistribute the dressing.
 I usually use canned petite diced tomatoes and squeeze the juice out a little before I put them in with the cucumber.  The peppers and celery add a little extra color and crunch if you have some, but they aren't necessary.

There's a similar recipe at Mediterrasian.com; it's called Greek Salad.

It's Saturday again

I got up early today. Well, early for Saturday, not so early for a Monday or a Wednesday.

By 9 o'clock I had washed a sink full of dishes, exercised with the Wii for over an hour, and felt pretty smug with my ambitious self. But I didn't stop there.

By noon I had completed 2 lessons in my Access 2007 class (including the homework!), washed a load of laundry, and made a pot of spagetti sauce which is simmering on the stove as we speak (so to speak, if you know what I mean).

Now I'm well over half way through my weekly emails (I started at 59 and I'm down to 13) and I completed two on-line surveys which awarded me 10 points and I tried to donate some of the points I've amassed this year to the American Heart Association but I don't think it worked so I'm a little ticked at that. Last year I lost all my point because I didn't realize they expired and I don't want that to happen again.

On a different subject, Thursday I bought a whole seedless watermelon at the Marsh grocery store down the street for only $2.99 which is a good price, but as I was checking out the cashier asked "Do you have any coupons?" and I replied, "No" and the woman bagging my groceries said "You didn't get the watermelon coupon?" and I replied, "No" so the 2 women went over to another counter and brought back the Marsh weekly flier and tore out a coupon to save $1 on the watermelon. So I got the whole watermelon for $1.99.

I wouldn't have seen the flier till I got home from the grocery because it comes in the mail on Thursday and I would have been really ticked that I didn't get my $1 off. But that's why I shop at Marsh - the staff are so nice and friendly and they look out for you.

May somebody be looking out for you this week.

Thank Goodness It's Saturday

Saturday and Sunday are the only 2 days of the week that matter.  Monday thru Friday are just days I spend in the office making money for my retirement. 

That reminds me of a country western song I heard a few weeks ago.  Something about working all week to put butter on his biscuit.

Any way, I just looked at the clock and saw it's already past noon.  I thought "Where does the time go?"  Then the little voice inside my head replied, "Duh.  You didn't get up till 10 o'clock so where do you think the time went?" 

And I replied, "Oh, right."  Not really a snappy comeback but it was all I had.  When the little voice is right, it's right.  I didn't go to bed till after midnight but I caught up on some of the sleep I missed during the week.  I've been working a day shift for over 20 years now but my body still thinks we work evenings and nights, or it thinks it's still 29 and we can get by on 6 hours of sleep a day.

And that we can still eat butter on our biscuits.

Do this! Do that!

I am one of those people who usually reads instructions.  I faithfully follow along step by step, completing one task before going on the next.

I expect instructions to be coherent and complete.  (Except at the Dumass company where I work and where the IT staff routinely omits at least 1 crucial step in every set of directions they distribute.) 

Well, as a patient once told me, people in hell want ice water too but they ain't gettting that either.

This weekend I bought a surge protector that has 2 outlets for items you want to leave plugged in all the time (like clocks) and 6 others that you can turn off when not in use (like video games).  It came with a remote control.  I read the instructions, set it up, plugged in my electronics, and tried the remote. Nothing happened.

I thought to myself, "Surely this thing runs on batteries."  I read the instructions.  No mention of a battery. I read the box.  No mention of a battery.  Not so much as a disclaimer "Not included".  I looked at the remote, tried to pry off the back with a dime I found on the desk, turned it over, tried it again on the surge protector.  Nothing.  I read the instructios again. Nope, still not there.

I looked at the remote again.  Ahh, some arrows.  "This might be a clue!"  I thought and sure enough if you pushed in the direction of the arrows, the back slid off revealing a stubby little battery and a piece of plastic that needed removed in order for the remote to form a relationship with the connector.  Couldn't they just have put that in the directions?

AND I bought a USB memory stick for my computer.  No directions whatsoever on the package expect for the free software that came with it.  I pulled on both ends of the stick trying to get to the USB connector thingee.  Nothing budged.  I looked for instructions again.  Nothing.  Excep the free software that I'll probably never use.  I Googled the device and up popped some pictures.  The minute I saw them I realized one should push not pull to reveal the connector thingee.  Couldn't they just have put that on the package.  A little picture?  Anything?

I have a suspicion that all IT geeks do those things on purpose. 

Just to annoy me.

Like the back of my hand

I was looking at the back of my hands earlier this week (I was in a meeting and there wasn't much else to do) when I realized I was staring at my father's hands.  Just like I found my mother's face in the mirror one day, there were my father's hands.  His hands were sturdier, of course, but still, there they were.

I remember my Grandmother's hands as being slender and she had a way of moving them when she told a story.  I can't repeat those movements when I try, but sometimes my hands will move and I see Grandma's hands and then her face.  And I can almost hear her voice.

One time I was at a Halloween party wearing a genuine kimono and a mask and some kind of covering over my hair.  I didn't think anyone would know who I was, but I remember that one boy did.  He knew me right away.  He said "It's your hands.  You have freckles on your hands."

I still do.  Even though I have old lady hands now.  Wrinkled and blue veined.   The freckles are still there.  A reminder of younger days.  

My father had freckles on his hands too.

Yesterday

Yesterday I had a really bad day at the Dumass Company.  It was so bad that I had to go outside to cool off (and it was over 80 degrees outside).

While I was strolling (or stomping if you prefer) up and down the sidewalk in front of the Dumass building I noticed 4 little white flowers nodding at me above the green ground cover where they had no right to be.  The phrase "Against All Odds" popped into my head.

Here were these 4 little flowers blooming proudly where they weren't supposed to be.  I thought maybe it was a sign.  If those 4 little flowers could prevail then so could I. 

But not right away.  It took another 5 minutes of walking before I could go back inside the building and tackle the computer application from Computer Hell with its snotty little IT guardians.

On my way home yesterday, a handsome young man was tending the flower beds.  When I passed the 4 little white flowers and turned to nod at them, they were gone.  Cut down by the handsome young man.

I'm sure there's a moral there somewhere.
Maybe, If it's not attached to a stick, it's not a sign.

Today

Today is my sister's birthday.  She's really, really old today.

Make 'em sweat

On my way home from work today, the radio station's drive time on-air personality, Bernie, announced that it was 87 degrees, but people were calling and telling him that it felt hotter than that.  Well, Bernie,  know why it felt hotter than that.  BECAUSE IT WAS HOTTER THAN THAT! 

It was 93 degrees in the downtown area where I was.

I don't know where the weather forecasters had their thermometers today, but it must have been in the shade.  When I got home, the guy on TV said the high was in the 80's.  He must have been on a tropical isle with balmy breezes or maybe he was just balmy.

A Pint's a Pound the World Around

I think it's time someone started a Truth in Packaging movement in America. 

I have several packages of frozen vegetables in my freezer that claim to hold "about" 2 servings and that each of those servings equals 1 cup.  Then just below that they have a disclaimer that they really mean each serving is 3/4 cup.

A cup equals 8 ounces so a 3/4 cup serving would be 6 ounces.

Each of the packages contain 7 - 9 ounces (according to the package).  Divide by 2 and each serving would be 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 ounces.  Rounding up (to be more generous than the food companies), each serving would be approximately 4 to 5  ounces.

I have a warning to you companies that think 4 to 5 ounces is "about" one cup.  "Don't look now, but your pants are on fire."

Weather Questions, Answers, and Comments

"Hey, is it hot enough for you?"

The only answer for that today is "Hell.  Yes" with hell being a noun and not a curse word.  It was close to 100 degrees in the shade.  If you could find any.

"It's not the heat, it's the humidity."

I've got news for you, honey.  100 degrees is hot with or without humidity.

"I like the heat."

Then I'll be happy to tell you where to go.  Look for the noun in the first answer above.

Happy Birthday, America!

You are 234 years old today (more or less).   You're still growing and maturing, but still holding fast to the beliefs and the passions of your youth. 

God bless America

and all who dwell between her shores

Did you know John Adams was the first to suggest that July 4th be celebrated with parades, "illuminations", games, sports, and devotion to God?  

Did you know John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both signed the Declaration of Independence and both died on its 50th anniversary, July 4, 1826? 

I'm the Star

You're the star.
Together we can make beautiful music in the night sky.

My horror-scope for tomorrow reads: "This planet belongs to you. It has been put here for your personal convenience. You are not a 'bit part' player in someone else's drama; you are the star of the show. This is your world. This is your life. It is not that the other people don't matter. Of course, they do. They are characters in your story. That makes them incredibly important. But it is, nonetheless, your story. If you don't feel that way, you have been listening to the wrong advice and have turned your own tale into a sorry saga."  (http://www.cainer.com/)

I don't think it gives me much of a clue to what's going to happen tomorrow, but it's kind of deep, don't you think?

What I Did This Weekend

I started a new blog today.  Check it out.  Wii is At the Top of the Hill  There's not much there yet, but there might be later this week.

I also learned some cool stuff to do with Microsoft PowerPoint.  I probably can't use the cool stuff at the fuddy-duddy Dumass Corp where I work, but sometimes I can slip things past them.  Check out the free templates at Microsoft Office.com to get some ideas of your own,  Don't miss Duarte's Five Rules for Creating Great Presentation.  I think some of the effects are only available in PowerPoint 2010, but I got some animation ideas that I can use in earlier versions.

I walked 5 miles with the Walk It Out Wii game yesterday.   And I'm learning most of the words to Black Eyed Peas' Boom Boom Pow.   Makes me miss  bubble gum music.

7 steps to financial freedom

I went on-line shopping last weekend and when I went to check out I had the choice to have it delivered to my home for $7 or pick it up at the nearest store.  Since I pass within a half-mile of the store every day I decided to save money and stop on my way home.

First, I got an email from the company saying my package had arrived at the store only a couple of days after I had placed my order, but I had to print an email off my computer and produce a pictue ID before the store would let me have the package.
Second, my printer didn't work so I decided to print it off at work.
Third, at work I couldn't remember my password to get into the email to print it so I had to wait till I got hme and try my printer again.
Fourth, I re-installed my printer and produced a paper copy of the email,
Fifth, I had to wait 2 days before I was able to stop at the store.
Sixth, they didn't want to see the email copy or a picture I.  They seemed to think that was a silly idea.
Seventh, I spent $75 on other merchandise while I was in the store.

But I saved $7 on postage.

ONE TIME

One time I was helping my father fix the brakes on my car.  My job was to read the instruction manual aloud while he did the work.  When he had finished he noticed extra parts lying on the ground. 

"What are these?" he asked incredulously.  "Why didn't you tell me about these?"

"I did!", I exclaimed.  "I told you several times!"  And I had.  I had tried shoving the manual under his nose and handing him the parts, but he had just ignored me and went on.

"Oh, well", he replied.  "Everything went back together so we didn't need them anyway."

He must have been right because the brakes never failed me.



One time I went camping with my parents and some assorted grandchildren.  I had learned to make stove top biscuits for the trip and made them for breakfast one morning with my father's assistance.  Everytime I turned my back he turned up the heat. 

"The heat's too low," he'd say as he cranked up the Coleman stove a notch or two. 

"No, it's not." I'd reply patiently gritting my teeth as I turned the heat down again.  "They have to cook for 12 to 15 minutes just like if they were in an oven". 

As Dad buttered and jellied his biscuit, he complained, "You burned the biscuits."

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

What's New?

I have updated the look of my blog.  Do you like it?
Personally, I'm not crazy about it, but I thought we needed a change.

What's up?

What's gnu with you?

Oh, dear me, but it's a slow gnus day today. As a matter of fact, I have absolutely no gnus today and I don't see any gnus in my near future either.

I love cheap jokes.

Working out

I walked over 2,000 steps with my Wii Walking Out program this morning before I went to work. To celebrate my hard work I'm having fried chicken, french fries, and an ice cream sandwiche for supper.

When you get old, you realize that deprivation doesn't really help you live longer - it just seems longer.

Coach

A favorite Hoosier son, Coach John Wooden, died at the age of 99 this week.

I liked to hear Coach Wooden talk. He was funny, insightful, and always had a twinkle in his eyes. They don't make 'em like that anymore.

Lest we forget

Did you know that American observes an official moment of silence at 3 PM on Memorial Day in tribute to the men and women who have given their lives in service to our county?

Well, you do now.

Memorial Day 2010

In memory of those who have gone before us.


Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~From a headstone in Ireland

Don't you wish you had a picture?

About a year ago I got a Wii video game. I used it for a while then life (and my living room) got a little crowded so I haven't used it much the past several months (like 10 - 12).

But a couple of weeks ago I dusted it off and pushed back the ottoman and stuck in Dancing with The Stars again. I'm getting better. Unfortunately, it doesn't teach you to really dance - but considering my level of rhythm and coordination it's probably just as well.

I got 2 new games this week: Walk It Out and Wii Fit Plus. I tried Walk It Out yesterday and got stuck in the stadium. I just walked around and around and around. So today I Googled for some hints and was able to get out onto the island and I walked 0.6 miles or so the Wii said. My feet feel like I went 6 miles or maybe not. I've probably never walked 6 miles before at one time so how would I know?

I checked out Wii Fit Plus yesterday too. First I did the Body Test - it had a new peripheral vision test and apparently I have no peripeheral vision at all. It calculated my age at 71 but Wii Fit always says I'm younger than my real age. (That makes Wii Fit my favorite.)

Then I tried the games that looked fun. I couldn't figure out how to steer the Segway - I ran it into the ocean (more than once), I ran it into a rock wall. I ran it everywhere but where I was supposed to. I kept wishing I had a little kid around to show me how to do it, but he/she probably wouldn't let me play.

I can't snowboard. But we already knew that.

I can ride a bike, and I learned how to steer it. Not well, but fast. All that abrupt weaving back and forth made me dizzy.

Made me go Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I got my care package

My Aunt Betty sent me this poem Wednesday in response to an email that I sent her in response to an email that she sent me. I think we just invented Relative Appreciation Week.

It`s not the things that can be bought that are life`s richest treaure,
It`s just the little `heart gifts` that money cannot measure---
A cheerful smile, a friendly word, a sympathetic nod
Are priceless little treasures from the storehouse of our God---
They are the things that can`t be bought with silver or with gold,
For thoughtfulness and kindness and love are never sold-
They are the priceless things in life for which no one can pay,
And the giver finds rich recompense in giving them away.

I need a care package.

This job is sucking the life out of me.

I try to remember that there are people with jobs that are much worse than this one, but sometimes when I'm banging my head against the desk for the third time in one morning, it's really hard to care that your job sucks too.

I know there are people with no jobs who are worried sick about losing everything because the paychecks stopped weeks, even months, ago, and I should be thankful I have a job at all, but sometimes it's hard to muster enough empathy to care.

I know there are other people with unfullfilled dreams, and wasted talents, but at the moment I just don't care.

Usually when I don't have enough care to go around, I buy or bake something for someone else and I get a kind of boomerang effect that lightens my heart. But today I think I'm just going to be a grouchy old lady, so SEND ME A CARE PACKAGE now or stay out of my way.

I've been thinking

It occurred to me this afternoon that I'm not quite old enough to be a sweet little old lady, but I'm way too old to be that sweet young thing.

And then it occured to me. Age probably has very little to do with it.

What I Learned

You know I like to learn new things. Constantly searching, absorbing learning, drinking in knowledge.

Just this month (and it's only the 10th), I've learned:

James Arness (Matt Dillion) was 6 feet 7 inches tall and was badly wounded in the leg at Anzio during WWII. Which is probably why he had trouble running on Gunsmoke.

Buck Taylor (Gunsmoke's Newly O'Brien) was the son of Dub Taylor. (If you don't know who Dub Taylor is, go watch a western - he's probably in there somewhere.) I also learned that Buck Taylor is a world famous water color artist, specializing in western art.

Tonto was the smart one. The Lone Ranger/ was dumber than a box of rocks. On The Lone Ranger Show, I mean. Maybe the writers just had it in for him because he wouldn't tell them his name.

I learned some other stuff too, but these are the high-lights.

I'm waiting

I'm at work waiting for the computer to do something. I could be doing something work-related while I'm waiting, but I'm ticked off at the stupid people who work at this stupid job so I'm not.

I'm just sitting here thinking I'm too old to put up with this much crap.

I saw a mug at the local card shop yesterday that said, "If life hands you crap, don't make anything." and that's what I'm doing. I've seen things that say, "If life hands you crap, make fertilizer".

But when one is in a crappy mood, one just doesn't give a crap.

I like bread and butter

I bought a new toaster the other day. I'm taking it back tomorrow.

For some reason, I don't know what got into me, I bought it just by looking at the picture on the box. The store didn't have a display model. The picture on the box looked nice. Black. Trim. A bagel button. A stop button. A lift the toast out of the toaster instead of sticking a fork in the toaster and getting shocked lever.

Looks can be deceiving. Oh, it had all that stuff, and more.

1. A silver 7 position browning control knob that was next to impossible to tell what number it was set at by looking at it, but the indicator protruded just enough you could set it by feel.
2. A one foot electrical cord. Maybe it was a foot, probably less. It was positioned at the front of the toaster. Which is just plain stupid. The only other way to put it is "just plain ignorant". And the directions said to keep the toaster 3 inches from the wall. So the cord is 12 inches and the toaster is about 10 inches long. I'll do the math for you. That leaves 2 inches which is less than 3. Unless one wants to put the front of the toaster closest to the wall outlet and reach over the toaster to work the controls, it just ain't gonna work.

But that's not why I'm returning the toaster. I'm returning it because it doesn't toast bread. It chars it.

Do you remember my smoke alarm that goes off when I boil water? It doesn't go off when the stupid new toast burns the last slice of bread in the house and sends clouds of hazy smoke all over the apartment. Smoke that smells like burned toast.

I tried setting the browning control on the toaster near the middle the first time, then the far right, then the far left. As far as I could tell that's what I did. Yield: 1 slice charred bread, 1 charred bagel, and 1 extra crispy bagel. To get one edible bagel, I had to stand over the toaster like a hawk and hit the stop button and even then I was a tad too late.

They just don't make things like they used to.

Odds are.

I just finished an on-line course on Forensic Science. It was very detailed, much more so than what I expected, wanted, or needed to know. But I finished it and I passed the final exam.

So now I'm taking another on-line course on Data Mining. I'm not very dedicated to studying, but I have the rest of my life to finish it so I suppose there's no rush. But then I don't really know, do I?

If I finish the course I suppose I might be able to calculate the odds on that. My age, weight, family history, driving record, etc. all thrown in to some algorithm that spits out my life expectancy. But that sounds more like a statistics course than a data mining course, doesn't it?

I took a statistics course before. As a matter of fact, I majored in statistics in college. But I was never good at figuring out odds.

I'm much better at evens.

Math jokes are so lame.

Remember when

Do you ever say, "I remember when gas was 25 cents a gallon." or "I remember when you could buy a new home for what a car cost today."?

And the kids say, "And how much were dinosaur steaks, you old geezer?"

Well, now you can show them it wasn't that long ago. Check out the Cost of Living Calculator from The Women's Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.ORG) to compare the cost of living between any 2 years between 1900 and 2010.

While you're there you might check out WIFE's Money Clubs. If you tell the rude little whipper snappers that you are a member in good standing of a Money Club they might show you a little more respect. At least until they find out they're not in the will.

HEY!

I want somebody to bake these and send me one or two or maybe four. If I make them myself, I'll eat them all. And while I'm sure I'd enjoy it at the time, I'd probably regret it the next day. Or maybe not.

Pillsbury Bake Off Fudgy Chocolate Chip Toffee Bars

Life's short. Never let a chocolate chip cookie get away.

I have a fever

I thought I had spring fever so I Googled signs and symptoms to verify my diagnosis. But I didn't. Verify it, I mean. I might have spring fever, than again I might not.

Spring fever is a malady that occurs in the spring.
There are psychological and physical manifestations.
Symptoms may include spurts of energy or bouts of lethargy.
One might experience an enhanced euphoria or a deep depression.
It may increase alertness or increase day dreaming.
It might induce feverishness, but not a fever.
Restlessness, disquietude, uneasiness, antsiness can be attributed to spring fever.

If you sneeze, that's spring allergies not spring fever.

Old ladies don't get spring fever. It isn't dignified.

I think I have ennui, malaise, or melancholia.

Let's see. Put the back of your hand on your forehead and languidly announce, "I have ennui."

No, no, no. Stop laughing. Make your eyelids droop a little. Now try it. "I have ennui." "I am stricken with ennui." "Ennui has overtaken me."

I think I'll name my next cat Ennui.

I have a headache

And do you know why I have a headache?

Trust me. I have a right to have a headache.

The door of the overhead bin fell on my head last night as I was hurrying to go home from the Dumass Company. I'm sure it made a loud thud when it hit, and I know I made a very loud noise just before I said "I think I have a concussion." There was only one other person in the office at the time so there was no one to rush to my side to check for bleeding, bumps, and bruises.

Sure, that "one other person" who was sitting 12 feet from my desk as the stars were twirling around my head could have at least asked, "Are you alright?" but I doubt if she could sympathize with a head injury. She's on the "management team" so you know she keeps her head where it's always well protected. Even the sunshine can't reach it.

And see how you like it

Have you ever watched Undercover Boss? That show were the CEO's & presidents & owners of companies go work with their employees to see what's really going on? And they go "in disguise" so nobody knows who they are?

OK, the disguises are just a little better than Clark Kent taking off his glasses to become superman, but when the suits (i.e., executives) take off the suit and tie and put on blue jeans and a flannel shirt, they actually look like the belong with the working stiffs.

They've yet to have a woman go undercover. Are there that few women CEO's or do female suits think they already know what the "little people" are doing and thinking?

Anyway, do you know who I want to see on Undercover Boss? Or Underground Boss, as the case may be.

Don Blankenship, CEO of Massey Energy Co. I want to watch him working deep in a West Virginia Massey coal mine.

Dream Big

Do you remember the maple seedling I stuck in a pot on my patio a few years ago? Because the pot was there and the seedling was there and I wanted to see if I could grow a tree on my patio?

Guess what? I can.

I checked it today and it has leaves on most of the branches. I checked it an hour later and the number of leaves had doubled. I'm really surprised it survived another Indiana winter. This one was short but record setting cold and my little tree is still thriving.

When does a seedling become a sapling? A sapling, a tree?

How big does a maple tree have to be before you can tap it for maple syrup?

A Locked Room Mystery of Life

John 20:19-29.

On Sunday evening, the apostles gathered together to mourn the death of their leader and to discuss who could have taken his body out of the tomb. They made certain that the door was locked because they feared that the men who killed Jesus would come looking for them too. Despite the locked door, Jesus entered the room and said "Peace. Peace be with you."

They couldn't believe it was Jesus, but he showed them the puncture marks through his hands and the wound on his side. The disciples were elated when they saw that it was truly Jesus.

Again Jesus said to them, "Peace be with you. Just as the Father sent me to teach his Word, I am sending you."

Then he breathed on them and said "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld."

Thomas was not there when Jesus came, but the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord." Thomas replied, "Unless I see the nail prints in his hands and put my hand into this side, I can not believe."

Eight days later the disciples, including Thomas, were again gathered in a locked room. Again Jesus joined them and said, "Peace be with you."

Then he said to Thomas, "See my hands? Feel the marks. Reach out your hand and put it into the wound on my side. Do not doubt me, but Believe."

Thomas fell to his knees crying out, "My Lord and my God!"

Jesus said, "Because you have seen me, it is easy for you to believe. Blessed are those who have not seen me and yet still believe."

And so it is written that if you believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, you too shall have life after death in His name.

HAPPY EASTER! HAPPY LIFE!

I wish I knew what time it was .........

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

To each their own

I just read an article about different ways to de-stress. And by "different ways", I don't mean "several ways", I mean "strange", "weird", "not for everybody" and/or "not on your life".

They start off with a Snake Massage. Big snakes, little snakes, and in-between snakes crawling all over your body. Now I have nothing against most snakes. I can even handle a snake if the need arises, but I don't want a few dozen crawling all over me. I think for most people that would produce "de stress" (as opposed to "de-stress").

Jaw Massage might work for some people. Goodness knows I clench my jaw alot. It's just that I don't want other people's hands that close to my neck.

Beer Baths were also recommended. No, you don't drink a bathtub full of beer. You sit in it. Stting in a tub of beer holds little allure for me.

The Flower Baths seem more my style. If I wasn't too old to get in and out of a bathtub without floundering around like I did drank that tub of beer.

According to the article, Ironing can be very relaxing. Not the way I iron it isn't, but if anybody else wants to try it, I'll be glad to help you out with some wrinkled blouses.

Shouting can calm you down, but not if you shout at people. A 30 - minute session of therapeutic screaming is ideal to lower your stress. And after that you won't have a voice left to scream at other people.

Does writing poetry relax you? Try Haiku. Or limericks if you're feeling less mellow. They're both short and to the point and paint a picture in your mind.

How about brushing yourself? Not your hair, your skin.

Acupuncture? You know - where they therapeutically stick needles in your stress points? I haven't tried it. And ain't gonna either.

Read between the lines.

There's a TV show on right now, this very minute, about some "celebrity" chef trying to make a school menu more nutritious. The lunch ladies aren't buying his spiel and he's getting discouraged. He walked over to a church looking for a kindred spirit and finds a minister preaching the need for good nutrition.

"We're the fattest city, in the fattest region, in the fattest country in the world. What does that tell you about our culture?"

Tells me there are some mighty good cooks in that city.

Waiting for something

Don't tell the boss but I'm writing this while I'm at work. I'm actually working as I type. (I'm so multi-talented.) I'm waiting on a report to run. I'm actually waiting on 2 reports to run on 2 different applications.

That's what I do most of the day. Wait. It's very tiring - mentally, physically, and emotionally. I'm not exactly an active type person but sitting and waiting and sitting and waiting is boring.

Sometimes I try to find busy work while I'm waiting. I've organized files and folders and drawers and cabinets until nobody can find anything.

Sometimes I eat chocolate but the price of chocolate went up and my weight went up, but my salary didn't.

Sometimes I do legitimate searches on-line and sometimes I just go virtual shopping.

But mostly I just sit here and complain.

That's why I'm so good at it. Never ending practice.

Oops.

The other day we were on a conference call with our other office. Near the end of the meeting, I started to press the volumn button but accidently hit the End This Call button. When I logged back on they were all gone, so I sent an email to the manager and apologized. Apparently he hadn't even noticed.

If I'd known that I would have left the meeting shortly after it started.

I didn't forget

I bet you think I forgot my semi-annual rant about Daylight Saving Time. I didn't forget. I'm just too tired to find the energy to complain. I know that doesn't sound like me, but I'm really, really tired. DST always upsets my inner clock.

Last night I was falling asleep about 9:20 then I realized that it was only 8:20 in real time soI refused to go to sleep. Then I stayed up too late but I got up too early this morning because even though the clock said 6 o'clock it was only 5 o'clock and that's waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too early for sensible people to get out of bed. I'm not real happy with getting up before 8.

My motto is "If the sun ain't working, then neither am I."

Now really is that necessary?

I was shopping on the internet last week and stumbled upon a Wii game that looked interesting. Till I took a second look.

"Is that blood on his sword?", I asked myself peering at the box cover. "Is that blood?" "Is that blood?", I asked at every flip of the preview screens.

Yeah, it was blood. Blood and gore.

I read the description. The game glorified blood and gore at every turn.

I read the preview. Several of the gamers complained about the gratuitous violence without a story line or plot. One review said all he expected out of the game was blood and gore and he was still shocked by what he saw.

Maybe we need a new rating system for games - one that includes PU for What a stinker!

Woo-Hoo

Do you remember my posting back in February about all the artists who sang Cool Waters over the last 6 or 7 decades?

I missed highlighting one of my favorites. Daffy Duck with The Sons of the San Joaquin.

It cracked me up.

Are you talking to ME?

I was watching TV a little while ago and a spokeswoman asked,

"Do you misplace things?"
"Do you lose track of time?"
"Do you forget words?"

Well, of course, I do.
Doesn't everybody?

Go Fly a Kite

Woo Hoo - March is only 2 weeks away and it's already starting.

The sun is shining.

Birds are singing.

Temperatures are in the 40's and 50's.
Stock boys at Target are running around in shorts to collect carts from the parking lot.

Winter came suddenly, hard and ferocious, and it stayed and stayed. Spring came only a little less suddenly, shy and soft, and I hope it's staying a while. Some years Spring is so shy that it lets Winter come back and bully it around.

Stand strong, Spring! Hold the line against those Winter winds. It's your time to shine!

Suck it up, Nancy

Well the Dumass Company has done it again. Lived up to its moniker that is.

I had a really good blog posted here, but it might have annoyed the company I work for because they might have got the idea it was about them so I removed it. They don't have the same sense of humor we do.

Ohhh. I'm going cuckoo, woo-woo!
Here comes the choo-choo, woo-woo!

. . . . Bugs Bunny in Hare-um, Scare-Um

May they ride forever

I watched Gunsmoke this evening and the episode featured Festus Hagen, the big-hearted, somewhat scruffy, illiterate deputy. I Googled his name (Ken Curtis) to find a picture of him without his Gunsmoke getup. I found out things about him I never knew.

I've seem him in many westerns and never recognized him. He looks much different without the scraggly beard and half squint.

He started out as a singer. A good singer. I don't think I ever heard him sing on Gunsmoke, but he sang with the Dorsey band and was a singing cowboy in movies and sang with the Sons of the Pioneers. For you young kids that don't know good music when you hear it, thems impressive credentials.

While I was searching, I found a site for Bob Nolan. According to this site, Bob Nolan created "Western" music. He wrote Tumbling Tumbleweeds, a classic. He also wrote Cool Waters, a haunting story about a mirage and a desert and a yearning deep in the soul. It's still being recorded today and you can hear dozens of recordings here from recording artists. To name just a few - Gene Autry, Burl Ives, Roy Rogers, Randy Travis, Willie Nelson, Joni Mitchell, Fleetwood Mac, Patti LaBelle, Bob Dylan, The Foggy River Boys, Red River Dave and Sula's Texas Ranger. And don't miss Walter Brennan's rendition. (You can skip Bob Dylan and Patti LaBelle though. They were never meant to sing cowboy songs. Even Tom Jones did a better job.)

It's me again

While searching through a box of important papers today, I found my old pocket harmonica and the diskette that contains the lessons that were supposed to teach me to play. I don't know where the book went, but I'm sure it's around here somewhere.

I don't remember ever listening to the diskette which may explain why I still can't play a harmonica. That and I can't carry a tune in a laundry basket.

I can't imagine why I thought an unplayed harmonica was important enough to put in a metal box with my birth certificate, original social security card, and Grandma's watch.

I guess I put it there for safekeeping though I can't remember why it needed to be kept safe. Maybe I should leave it to someone in my will.

And to my favorite relative, I bequeath my beloved pocket harmonica. Keep it safe and it will serve you as well as it did me.

Past my bedtime

I watched the show last night about the old farts mentioned in the previous posting. It was an episode I had never seen before and I thought I had seen them all.

It was a good episode. Brian "Memory" Lane was under treatment for alcoholism in a rehab facility and thought he'd uncovered an old unsolved murder. To make sure Brian continued his treatment and didn't begin sleuthing, Jerry entered the facility as a sex addict. That left Sandra and Jack on the outside to interview the witnesses (i.e., suspects). Not to mention Brian's long-suffering wife, Ester, who joined in the investigation by stealing a book from Brian.

I fell asleep about 10 minutes before the end and missed the unveiling of the murdering culprit.

So who's the old fart now?

Same old stuff

Guess what? It snowed today and it's going to snow tomorrow and maybe the day after that. Then it's going to get cold. Sorry. That's all I have to talk about. I think my brain is frozen.

There's nothing to do but sit around and watch TV. I can't even get to the store to buy some books.

There's a new TV show on called Undercover Boss. I heard them advertising it last week and thought it was called Undecover Blond. Compared to some other "reality" shows go, that might not too bad.

Ellen is going a great job on American Idol. She's not as sweet as one might think.

I've been watching old detective shows from the 50's and 60's since Christmas when I got 150 shows on DVD. If I don't stop watching them, I'm going to take up smoking. About 90% of the detectives and cops on TV in the 50's and 60's smoked cigarettes. All the time.

I saw Mary Tyler Moore on one of the shows today. She was a suspect. But innocent of course.

I made berry cobbler for supper tonight. It's not supper time but I ate it anyway.

I haven't watched much of the Olympics this year. There's so much snow outside, I don't want to see any more. Ever again.

One of my favorite shows is on tonight. New Tricks. It's about retired detectives re-hired by the police department to solve cold cases. I like watching old farts close to my age do something besides sit in a rocker and drool.

Not that I'm not looking forwarded to that myself in a few years.

Happy, Happy,

Happy Valentine's Day!


May your heart's true desire come true.

Wake me when it's over

I mean winter, of course. This winter started late, sometime in the middle of December, but started with a Look At Me assault of frigid air and arrogance and it hasn't taken a rest since then. This has been a long-johns type of winter all winter long.

I'm tired of cold and snow and ice. This afternoon I ventured outside for the first time in 4 days. "This isn't so bad", I thought to myself on the way to the trash receptacle. "The sun is shining. It's almost warm out here." On the way back, I thought to myself, "HOLY CRAP! That wind is cold." I still have a headache from it even though I wore my old lady scarf over my head and face.

I shouldn't complain about the amount of snow we have though I know it will take a month to melt between me and my car. We got a few inches Tuesday and were expecting 2 - 3 inches more that night when I got an email from my aunt who said her granddaughter in the east had over 2 foot of snow and her grandson to the west was expecting 2 - 3 feet of snow. Really, when you think about it 2 - 3 inches isn't all that bad.

When is spring anyway - isn't it about time for it to make an appearance? I know it's still a month away, but girl can dream, can't she? Just wake me when it gets here.

(Sour Cherry Tree - Picture courtesy of Wikipedia)