I wish I knew what time it was .........

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

To each their own

I just read an article about different ways to de-stress. And by "different ways", I don't mean "several ways", I mean "strange", "weird", "not for everybody" and/or "not on your life".

They start off with a Snake Massage. Big snakes, little snakes, and in-between snakes crawling all over your body. Now I have nothing against most snakes. I can even handle a snake if the need arises, but I don't want a few dozen crawling all over me. I think for most people that would produce "de stress" (as opposed to "de-stress").

Jaw Massage might work for some people. Goodness knows I clench my jaw alot. It's just that I don't want other people's hands that close to my neck.

Beer Baths were also recommended. No, you don't drink a bathtub full of beer. You sit in it. Stting in a tub of beer holds little allure for me.

The Flower Baths seem more my style. If I wasn't too old to get in and out of a bathtub without floundering around like I did drank that tub of beer.

According to the article, Ironing can be very relaxing. Not the way I iron it isn't, but if anybody else wants to try it, I'll be glad to help you out with some wrinkled blouses.

Shouting can calm you down, but not if you shout at people. A 30 - minute session of therapeutic screaming is ideal to lower your stress. And after that you won't have a voice left to scream at other people.

Does writing poetry relax you? Try Haiku. Or limericks if you're feeling less mellow. They're both short and to the point and paint a picture in your mind.

How about brushing yourself? Not your hair, your skin.

Acupuncture? You know - where they therapeutically stick needles in your stress points? I haven't tried it. And ain't gonna either.

Read between the lines.

There's a TV show on right now, this very minute, about some "celebrity" chef trying to make a school menu more nutritious. The lunch ladies aren't buying his spiel and he's getting discouraged. He walked over to a church looking for a kindred spirit and finds a minister preaching the need for good nutrition.

"We're the fattest city, in the fattest region, in the fattest country in the world. What does that tell you about our culture?"

Tells me there are some mighty good cooks in that city.

Waiting for something

Don't tell the boss but I'm writing this while I'm at work. I'm actually working as I type. (I'm so multi-talented.) I'm waiting on a report to run. I'm actually waiting on 2 reports to run on 2 different applications.

That's what I do most of the day. Wait. It's very tiring - mentally, physically, and emotionally. I'm not exactly an active type person but sitting and waiting and sitting and waiting is boring.

Sometimes I try to find busy work while I'm waiting. I've organized files and folders and drawers and cabinets until nobody can find anything.

Sometimes I eat chocolate but the price of chocolate went up and my weight went up, but my salary didn't.

Sometimes I do legitimate searches on-line and sometimes I just go virtual shopping.

But mostly I just sit here and complain.

That's why I'm so good at it. Never ending practice.

Oops.

The other day we were on a conference call with our other office. Near the end of the meeting, I started to press the volumn button but accidently hit the End This Call button. When I logged back on they were all gone, so I sent an email to the manager and apologized. Apparently he hadn't even noticed.

If I'd known that I would have left the meeting shortly after it started.

I didn't forget

I bet you think I forgot my semi-annual rant about Daylight Saving Time. I didn't forget. I'm just too tired to find the energy to complain. I know that doesn't sound like me, but I'm really, really tired. DST always upsets my inner clock.

Last night I was falling asleep about 9:20 then I realized that it was only 8:20 in real time soI refused to go to sleep. Then I stayed up too late but I got up too early this morning because even though the clock said 6 o'clock it was only 5 o'clock and that's waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too early for sensible people to get out of bed. I'm not real happy with getting up before 8.

My motto is "If the sun ain't working, then neither am I."

Now really is that necessary?

I was shopping on the internet last week and stumbled upon a Wii game that looked interesting. Till I took a second look.

"Is that blood on his sword?", I asked myself peering at the box cover. "Is that blood?" "Is that blood?", I asked at every flip of the preview screens.

Yeah, it was blood. Blood and gore.

I read the description. The game glorified blood and gore at every turn.

I read the preview. Several of the gamers complained about the gratuitous violence without a story line or plot. One review said all he expected out of the game was blood and gore and he was still shocked by what he saw.

Maybe we need a new rating system for games - one that includes PU for What a stinker!

Woo-Hoo

Do you remember my posting back in February about all the artists who sang Cool Waters over the last 6 or 7 decades?

I missed highlighting one of my favorites. Daffy Duck with The Sons of the San Joaquin.

It cracked me up.

Are you talking to ME?

I was watching TV a little while ago and a spokeswoman asked,

"Do you misplace things?"
"Do you lose track of time?"
"Do you forget words?"

Well, of course, I do.
Doesn't everybody?

Go Fly a Kite

Woo Hoo - March is only 2 weeks away and it's already starting.

The sun is shining.

Birds are singing.

Temperatures are in the 40's and 50's.
Stock boys at Target are running around in shorts to collect carts from the parking lot.

Winter came suddenly, hard and ferocious, and it stayed and stayed. Spring came only a little less suddenly, shy and soft, and I hope it's staying a while. Some years Spring is so shy that it lets Winter come back and bully it around.

Stand strong, Spring! Hold the line against those Winter winds. It's your time to shine!

Suck it up, Nancy

Well the Dumass Company has done it again. Lived up to its moniker that is.

I had a really good blog posted here, but it might have annoyed the company I work for because they might have got the idea it was about them so I removed it. They don't have the same sense of humor we do.

Ohhh. I'm going cuckoo, woo-woo!
Here comes the choo-choo, woo-woo!

. . . . Bugs Bunny in Hare-um, Scare-Um