My New Toy

I got a new computer today and I'm learning how to use it. You know everytime they make something in computerland "easier and faster", it's not.

Used to be, you went in to buy a computer and then would be a big placard next to it explaining all its virtues. Then you could decide which one you wanted. You take it home, you take it out of the box along with several books and manuals and help sheets. You follow the simple diagrams and turn it on. Then you got directions and tutorials on the screen. No more. Nope - I guess they expect everybody to know all about it by osmosis or something. I read the user guide manual but I still don't know what that big button next to the power switch is for or the optimization buttons or the on-off switch on the opposite side of the power switch. The power switch turns the computer on, so I don't know what the on switch turns on. But that's probably from the same company who thought it was sane to click on start to turn the computer off.

I was surprised to find my new computer has some Microsoft Office 2007 Applications. I think they are trial versions, but I don't know that for certain. It's got a thumbprint scanner, but no easy directions for setting it to recognize my print. I'll have to hunt for it when I have the time.

When I have time - aren't computers suppose to save you time?

HA! Sometimes I just crack myself up!

Just give her a medal and be done with it

I haven't posted for a few days because I worked overtime every day this week. I don't know why I do that except I take my job seriously. Too seriously I guess. It's hard to communicate to other staff why I feel the need to do a good job - I get paid to work and to waste time would be stealing from the company. Doesn't matter if it's an ungrateful company that has less regard for me than it does for boxes of copy paper. I work for me - the company gives me the paycheck, but I'm responsible to me. And I'm a tough boss.

I don't work in a vacuum and a weak link can negate all my efforts. Sometimes I feel like I'm a fool for trying to do a bettr job because too many other people just see the job as a paycheck. And why is it a crime to learn something new for the job outside of work hours if it's going to let you do your job better and faster?


It's a daily struggle to identify my feelings - smug and self-satisfied, frustrated, or who gives a rat's hat.

I think I need my hearing checked.

The other day I was in the kitchen and I thought I heard somebody knock on the door, but my hands were full so I couldn't run to see who it was and then I heard somebody knock on a door on TV and decided that was what I heard. Later, when I went out the next day I found a note from the postman that he had tried to deliver a package.

Yesterday, I was fixing lunch and I set something in the microwave while I washed a few dishes. When I finished the dishes, the microwave still had almost 3 minutes on it so I went in to watch TV. Before I could get sat down, I heard the microwave go off. "My goodness," I thought. That was a short three minutes or I got lost on the way to the couch." I went back to the kitchen and found 1 minute and 46 seconds was left on the microwave timer. I stood there confused (more confused than usual) when I recalled hearing a guy on TV say, "I know how to microwave popcorn".

"Oh, " I said to myself, "My lunch isn't ready - his popcorn is done!"

So I discovered several important things about myself recently:

1. I can hear, I just don't know what I'm hearing.
2. I should cook and watch TV in different rooms at the same time.
3. I should stop talking to myself.

Still crazy after all these years.

The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker

Guess who's visiting my house tonight?

Fates have conspired against me this week to keep me from getting to the grocery store to buy food suitable for my take-to-work lunches. Whatever I fix has to be fast and easy with minimal prep and clean-up - here in my kitchen and there at work.

Since I didn't have anything in the house that fit those requirements, I've had to go out every day and get it. I managed to keep the cost under $10 a day, but it still adds up and I get tired of deciding where to go everyday.

So tonight I decided to make Dilly Casserole Bread for tomorrow. It will be great with a little cheese, maybe some carrot sticks, and fruit.

That is, if I don't eat it all tonight. It's almost ready to put in the oven, and my mouth is already salivating in anticipation of the fresh-baked-bread odors that are going to be wafting through this apartment soon.

Dill and onion and fresh baked bread. Don't you wish you were here with the Baker?

Who't to blame for the world of the state today?

I fell asleep watching TV last night so I went to bed early. So I got up early. Now I'm going to be grumpy all day. Well, more grumpy than usual anyway. If Indiana hadn't switched to Daylight Saving Time there would be time for me to go back to bed and get a little more sleep, but we did so there isn't.

I can hear a bird singing outside the window. It's not dawn yet by Daylight Saving Time, but nobody told the birds. When you hear somebody express the opinion that DST is "for the birds", tell them they're wrong. The birds won't accept it.

Did you see gas prices had gone up again? You can blame that on DST too. You know they moved the start of DST up 4 weeks this year to save more energy? Well, we used more energy that month and in previous years so we caused a shortage of gas and the price went up.

Since the price of gas went up, you can bet the cost of groceries will go up, too. The next thing you know I won't be able to sleep because I'll be worried about the cost of everything going up twice as fast as my salary.

And you can blame it all on Daylight Saving Time.

Twister

A few months ago I bought a box of VHS exercise tapes off e-Bay. I don't know why - it's not like I really planned to use them.

Yesterday, I noticed one that had strength training as well as step aerobics and having nothing better than housework to do, I thought I'd give it a go.

For those of you who don't know, step aerobics is doing an exercise routine on a wide, but short platform. I was too lazy to find my step, but beginners can start on the floor and get a good work-out.

It started out with walking in place for a warm-up. No problem. I can do that. Then the instructor, Cathe, cheerfully went into a step routine. It went something like:

Step up with the Left foot,

Step up with the Right foot,

Step down with the Left foot,

Step down with the Right foot,

Step leftleftrightrightleftleftdoublelefthopskipjumpheadstandleftup

Step rightrightrightupdowndownupbackkickstepleftuplefthigher up

"Keep those arms pumping!" Cathe encouraged cheerfully.

I couldn't even get my arms to swing together much less in the right direction with each step. Not that I could do each step. My left leg went up went it should have gone back while my right leg was trying to cross the left in front and in back at the same time it was trying to do the hop skip.

After about 10 or 60 minutes, Cathe cheerfully said, "Alright enough warmup. Let's step!"

Warmup? That was the warmup?

I sat down on the couch, popped open a Pepsi, and just (cheerfully) watched before I hurt myself.

Snowitsnot

I know it seems that I complain about the weather a lot, but sometimes I'm really complaining about metrologists. Have you noticed that the more sophisticated the equipment gets, the worse their accuracy is?

I was suppose to take today off work, but yesterday was wet, cold, and windy. A nasty spring day. Neither spring nor winter. So I checked the forecast for today and when it predicted cool weather under cloudy skies I changed my day off to Monday.

"More clouds than sun" That what it said.

Wrong, wrong, wrong! My little toe that I broke in 1982 does a better job than that cracked crystal ball used by the so-called modern weather forecasters.

It wasn't overly warm today, but it wasn't windy and the sun shone all day. In other words, it was nice out.

This is a warning - I'm not an educated meterologist, but since I an off work Monday, I'm going to predict either tornados, sleet, or a half foot of snow. Probably all three.

This is how my toe looked when I broke it, but this isn't my foot.

Bunny with the Red Tail

a short story in rhyme (more or less)

Towards the road.
The little bunny went hop, hop, hop.

Mommy Bunny screamed, "Stop! Stop! Stop!"
Little Bunny answered, "Will not, not, not!"

Daddy Bunny yelled, "Don't! Don't! Don't"
Little Bunny whined, "Won't! Won't Won't"

Daddy Bunny went HOP! HOP! HOP!
Little Bunny didn't make it to the road.

Wild Weekends?

It must have been a rough weekend around here.

I work in an office with 6 employees. Of those 7, only 3 of us made it to work at our usual time. (Actually, since my "usual" time is anywhere between 7 and 9, I don't really count, and I don't know when Stephanie made it in so I'm just guessing she made it at her usual time, which is 7 to 10.)

Anyway, 3 of the others were 1 - 2 hours later than their regular time and one didn't make it in at all.

Do you suppose it was the weather? The Easter egg hunts in near gale-force winds? Coincidence?

You know what it probably was? Daylight Savings Time!
That's just screwed everything up since it started.

No greater love

This is Easter morning. I have been awake since three and I just realized it wasn't Saturday night anymore, but Sunday morning.

Easter Sunday morning. Not the celebration of the anniversary of the death of Jesus, but a celebration of the resurrection.

In No Greater Love, Mother M. Angelica wrote, "Is there any human being who could ever understand the humiliation of a God becoming man? Our pride is so great that this sign of love on the part of God is lost to most of us."

I had never thought of that before. If it was humiliating to be born a human, how much more so to die as one? To wear a crown of thorns instead of the crown of the Kingdom? To be beaten and mocked and nailed to the cross like a common criminal?

Jesus could have called 10,000 angels to deliver him from that torment, but instead he endured it, and then asked forgiveness for His tormenters. Why? Because He loved me.

Jesus said in Matthew 28:20 "...I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

It's not a fairy tale

Did you watch the Bachelor Monday night?

I've always thought that was a weird show with a demeaning, insulting premise, but they've made it into a comedy, mocking the desperate women looking for love in all the wrong places, so of course I watched it.

First imagine a room full of two dozen women dressed in formals. Then imagine this - if you watched the show you wouldn't have to imagine it, 'cause this is reality TV. Monday night:

• A woman fell off a bar stool, but held on to her drink.
• A loud obnoxious woman told another contestant that the only reason she was singled out for attention from the bachelor was because of luck, insinuating that the contestant was ugly and had no personality - she told those around her, as well as the audience, that the woman was "hideous" and dressed ugly.
• Two future brides tried to make a cake by substituting tequila for eggs.
• Now remember that all these women are wearing evening gowns.
• One of them challenged the bachelor, a Navy officer, to do push ups.
• Another did back flips to impress him.
• Still another did a dance move that involved lying on her belly on the floor.
• Tipsy obnoxious woman tried to start a fight with the drunk that fell off her chair.
• Tipsy obnoxious woman got really ticked when the bachelor didn't choose her.

Finally a real reality show.

Soup today, Chili tomorrow

Well, I can't say it snowed today, but I can say I saw snowflakes. Just two or three tiny ones, but they were definitely snowflakes. Yesterday afternoon, it was close to 80 degrees here in Indiana and 24 hours later there's snow.

Weird, huh?

Spring Maladies