Do you have a plan?

Everybody should have a life plan.  Or so I've been told.  A formal, write-it-down, put-it-where-you-can-see-it, follow it, revise it, follow it, kind of plan.  I've never had one.  I've just been winging it for over half a century.  

And here I am on the verge of my next life adventure thinking I'd better make a plan.  It may be my last chance to do it right. 

I've got 16 months and 12 days before retirement.  (Give or take a year or two depending on how it goes at the Dumass Corporation.)   So I'm going to make a plan to get ready for retirement.  Here's what I've got so far:

1. Make a plan.

That's all I got.  Pititful, ain't it?

Memorial Day 2011

What ever you're doing Monday, May 30, don't forget the National Moment of Remembrance - One Nation, One Moment

On Monday at 3 p.m. local time, where ever you are, what ever you're doing, stop and take a moment to remember those who have sacrificed their lives for this country. 

The small white tombstones

Stood in rows and columns

Like soldiers in formation.

Proudly they stood

Ramrod straight,

Like soldiers at attention.



Boston Creme Pie

When I was at the grocery store last week, I noticed they had Boston Cream Pies on sale from a national brand pie company. 

I don't know why they are called "pies" because they are cakes, even though they come in a pie tin.  Boston claims it was actually created there or at least somewhere in Massachusetts and it's been the official state desert since 1996.

But I digress.  I don't like Boston Cream Pies.  I don't know why I don't like them, but I don't.   I like cake, I like pudding, I like chocolate and that's all there is to these pies. So I should like Boston Cream Pies. I mean, What's not to like?

I bought one of the pies just to see if I was wrong. 

I was right.  I didn't like it.  So I got to say to myself, "See?  I told you so.  Why don't you ever listen to me?"

All around the mulberry bush ....

Today I got suckered into a project some how some way.

1. I have to give a presentation to the managers on what to do with a new zip code spreadsheet and database that we'll be getting soon.  I don't mind giving a presentation, but, really, how dumb can managers be that they can't figure out a list of zip codes?
2. The IT guy, Dennie, needs to know where to put the database/table and he asked me.  I'm not on that committee so I don't know, but I suggested he ask the project manager, Kitty.  He suggested he wait till I found out for him.  I asked a manager that is on the committee to get the database  - she didn't know.  I asked a co-worker in another office that is on the committee to get the database - he didn't know, but suggested I ask Kitty who's the head of the committee. 
3. Kitty hadn't answered the question I asked her yesterday about the zip codes so I didn't think there was any sense in asking her today's question, but I asked anyway.  Kitty thinks I'm stupid and I think she's a real Dumass kind of employee.  What do you think: I forwarded Dennie's email request for info to her and added a note "Dennie needs to know where to put the zip codes."  She replied "Dennie will put the zip codes where he wants to put them." 
4. Ok.  So go back to # 2 and we'll start all over again tomorrow.

All around the Mulberry Bush,

The lady chased an answer.

She didn't think it was all that hard,

Pop! goes the weasel.

How Time Changes Things

--- when you're so busy living that you forget to pay attention to what's happening around you.

I went to visit an old friend today, somebody from my school days.  We ate barbecued spare ribs, and corn casserole, and apple salad, and we talked about family and friends and former instructors and about how getting old sucks.  Really sucks.  Then we ate Mrs. Wick's Sugar Cream Pie and I came home.

They live out in the country.  You take this interstate to there and then that interstate to a little dropping off place in the country then you go 4 miles east, 2 miles south, 1 mile west, 1 miles north, 3 miles east, a half a mile south and you're there.  Coming home you just reverse that except leave out the 2 middle turns because you shouldn't have made them in the first place.

I learned some things today. 

1. That getting old is more sucky for some than for others.
2. That I still can find my way around without a GPS.  (It might have been faster with a GPS but I got there eventually.)
3. That some time in the last 40 years I stopped being a country girl.  That really hurts.

Ma! I'm gonna be in pictures!

I stumbled across something new at Amazon.com today.  Amazon Studios  If you ever wanted to make a movie or write a screenplay or critique a movie, you need to check this out. 

"What is Amazon Studios?" you ask and I'm glad you did because otherwise this would be one short post.

To paraphrase Amazon Studios, Amazon Studios has a role for filmmakers, screenwriters, and movie fans. 

1. You can make an inexpensive test movie that might become a full-budget, star-studded Hollywood production.
2. You can enter that original screenplay that you've been working on in secret for the past 12 years.  It might become a full-budget, star-studded Hollywood production.
3. Don't want to make movies or write a script, but you love movies and know what you like?  You can write reviews and participate in forums.

"Hmmm, sounds like fun," she said playfully. 
"Sounds like work.  So what's in it for me?" he asks lazily.
 
According to Amazon Studios, you can:

1. Win money.  Monetary prizes are awarded monthly. 
2. Get noticed.  Not just by the "general public", but by studios, agents, directors, Mickey Mouse.  OK, I just threw in Mickey Mouse to see if you were paying attention or trying to remember where you put your camera.
3. Get your movie made.  To quote Amazon Studios, "The goal of Amazon Studios is to work with Hollywood to turn the best projects into major feature films."

So don't just sit there, go to Amazon Studios and start on the road to becoming rich and famous.

Another Day Another Half-Dollar

We have a new employee at the Dumass Corporation and let me tell you he's real Dumass material.   I have never seen a new employee quite like this one. 

• In less than 3 months, he has irritated, annoyed, and offended everyone in the office at least once.
• We quickly learned that he's just not manipulative, but will out-right lie about his co-workers to cover his mistakes and shortcomings.
• He missed training given by the manager even though he was in the office and not working on anything, but then he had the nerve to request that she give him the training later, one-on-one.
• He wasn't working on anything because we can't get him trained.  Either he can't follow written or oral instructions or he's so arrogant he thinks he doesn't need to. 
• When we do give him a simple task, he never gets it done by the deadline.  (Personally, I would be bored out of my gourd sitting around doing next to nothing for 3 months.)
• He gives the impression that he thinks our work isn't important enough for him to bother doing.
• When he makes mistakes (and he often does), it's never his fault.  It's always your fault, or your training, or your instructions, or the process, or the computer system, or because it's a day of the week ending in "day". 
• I found out today that he was ignoring my emails because I hurt his feelings.  I admit I was blunt and truthful.  More so than I usually am, but I tried being nice and he took that as a sign he could walk all over me.   Instead of trying to do a better job so I couldn't find anything negative about his work, he tried to be more annoying.   Yep, he's real Dumass material, all right

If you're going to do a job, do it to the best of your ability.  Earn your half-dollar.  Don't half-ass it.   Or some gray-haired old lady is liable to come along and give the other half a good swift kick. 

What a Day!

Come to think of it maybe I should say, "What A Week!" and it's only Wednesday.  First, I had Monday and Tuesday off work.  That's always a good thing.

But I took my car to the dealership on Tuesday to get an oil change and Pat noticed I hadn't had any routine maintenance done lately so "we" changed the oil and all the fluid in the car and did an alignment which was probably a good thing the way I've been dodging pot holes all year.  So it cost about $500 for an oil change.

Then I went to work today, back at the good ol' Dumass Corporation.   I made a start on the emails, but then got called into a meeting less than 30 minutes into the day and about 15 minutes after it was out, I got called into another meeting where the IT guy explained that we think our computers run slow because they are.  (IT guys are always so helpful.)   As soon as that meeting was done, the woman who drives me to work had to go home so I had to leave with her, come home, and then drive myself back to work instead of having a lunch hour and I was back in the office less than 15 minutes before we had another meeting and after an hour I had to leave that meeting to go to another meeting. And when that was over, I tried to wade through some more emails.  So I was at work till 6:30 even though I got to work at 8:15 and I still didn't get any thing accomplished.

So Whew!  What a day!

Retirement

Retirement is beckoning me.  I almost retired from my current job a few months ago, but I didn't.  Now, I keep thinking how pleasant it would be to retire and not have to go to that job that I don't like at that office that I don't like in the building that I don't like. 

But then I think if I retire there will be a lot of knowledge going to waste, not to mention reference books.  These are things I can't use much in retirement.  I like the work I do, it's just the job that makes the work so unrewarding at the present time.  "So," you say, "Get another job or stop your whining."  The problem is there are few jobs in my line of work.  Not just a few jobs in this city or this state, but in the whole country.  That only leaves "Stop your whining".  Or retirement.

Being an analytical person I've tried to analyze what makes a job good vs intolerable, thinking that if I knew I could change it from barely tolerable to good, or at least "not too bad".  Different people have different ideas about ideal jobs, but in general I have found for a job to be tolerable:

1. The work has to be tolerable.  It may not be work you like, but it should at least be tolerable.  I don't like rote work, but other people prefer it.  I'm glad they do because I'm not good at it.  What I'm saying is that every job needs a worker and I really do appreciate those that work at jobs I can't do, or don't want to do, or couldn't do even if I wanted to. 
2. The people you work with have to be tolerable. I like to work with mature, intelligent people with the same work ethic I have. And by mature I don't mean in age. I once worked with a 17 year old that was more mature than other co-workers that were in their 30's. I don't like working with people who are always trying to figure out the best way to get out of work. Or who do as little work as possible and complain that they never get raises. Or who, pardon the phrase, half-ass their work and still get raises.  I like working with people who feel the same way about the job that I do so I have someone to complain with.  I have read that complaining together is a great bonding tool for co-workers.
3. The boss has to be tolerable.   The bosses nearest in you on the organization ladder affect your job daily, but the ones farther away still count.   I prefer a boss that gives direction then backs off and lets me get results me own way.  I work hard so the boss, the company, gets good results.  Some of the bosses I've worked with have realized that.  Others are so self-absorbed they assume that any work done in their department is because of their great leadership.  For some reason, those same bosses rarely accept responsibility for any failures in their unit. 
4. The office has to be tolerable.  Not too hot, not too cold, not too crowded, not too far away.   I'm fairly flexible on this one - my tolerance level for my physical environment is fairly high.  Doesn't mean that I wouldn't like the corner office with private bathroom, it just means I know I'll never have that.  Unless I work at home. 
5. The paycheck has to be tolerable.  Bottom line is always money.  You need enough to make the job worth doing, but not so much that you wouldn't appreciate more.

Sometimes all she does is complain

Sometimes I feel like all I do is complain.  But it's not my fault that people are so blasted irritating.  It's not my fault that they've exceeded my crap tolerance for one lifetime.

Sometimes I know I have no right to complain.  Things could be so much worse.  I'm fairly healthy - most of the time.  I still have a brain that works - most of the time.  The little voices inside my head don't really bother me - most of the time.  Except ....

Sometimes when they tell me I'm ungrateful for the blessings I have.  When they tell me to suck it up and stop my whining.   They don't really bother me then, it's just that

Sometimes they tell me I can't.  And that I never will.  That I'm too old and I wasted my youth waiting for some time to happen.  That I'm too stupid and it's too late to learn now.   That I'm too short, too wide, too too.

Sometimes I just like complaining.