Another Day Another Half-Dollar

We have a new employee at the Dumass Corporation and let me tell you he's real Dumass material.   I have never seen a new employee quite like this one. 

• In less than 3 months, he has irritated, annoyed, and offended everyone in the office at least once.
• We quickly learned that he's just not manipulative, but will out-right lie about his co-workers to cover his mistakes and shortcomings.
• He missed training given by the manager even though he was in the office and not working on anything, but then he had the nerve to request that she give him the training later, one-on-one.
• He wasn't working on anything because we can't get him trained.  Either he can't follow written or oral instructions or he's so arrogant he thinks he doesn't need to. 
• When we do give him a simple task, he never gets it done by the deadline.  (Personally, I would be bored out of my gourd sitting around doing next to nothing for 3 months.)
• He gives the impression that he thinks our work isn't important enough for him to bother doing.
• When he makes mistakes (and he often does), it's never his fault.  It's always your fault, or your training, or your instructions, or the process, or the computer system, or because it's a day of the week ending in "day". 
• I found out today that he was ignoring my emails because I hurt his feelings.  I admit I was blunt and truthful.  More so than I usually am, but I tried being nice and he took that as a sign he could walk all over me.   Instead of trying to do a better job so I couldn't find anything negative about his work, he tried to be more annoying.   Yep, he's real Dumass material, all right

If you're going to do a job, do it to the best of your ability.  Earn your half-dollar.  Don't half-ass it.   Or some gray-haired old lady is liable to come along and give the other half a good swift kick.