Holly, Holly, Holly

Some of you may have noticed that I have not written anything in my blog for several days. I know Holly noticed because she was whining about it today. It occurred to me the best way to stop that was to write about her.

When I was younger, I use to travel throughout neighboring Midwest states with friends and family - taking the road less traveled whenever possible, staying at small off-the-beaten-path motels, eating at mom-and-pop diners. It was our version of adventure, and, if you’ve ever eaten at one of those diners, you know we liked a little touch of danger.

Sometimes in the evening, I would buy a copy of the local newspaper for entertainment.

I love reading small town newspapers. The kind that tell you about the Spencers having supper Friday night with the Millers, about Paul and Millie Newburg showing their holiday slides at the Senior Citizen, about little Johnnie Franklin’s first birthday party that was held at his grandparents’ home and all the names of every relative that attended and even those that couldn’t make it, but sent their best wishes. A lot of these articles end with “and a good time was had by all”.

When trying to decide what genre to use to talk about Holly, I decided to go with a newspaper format and include her co-workers. (Ha! you thought I was just rambling, didn’t you?)

This is my version of a small town newspaper.

The Cubicle Chronical, Wednesday, August 3, 2005
Cube Town, USA

This reporter has just learned that Holly Hilarious is anxiously preparing for her first day at school this fall. Hilarious hopes to attain her degree in 3 years while working full time at a demanding job with the Cube Town mayor. Currently, Hilarious lives with her husband and three dozen cats.

C. J. My Way, Cube Town mayor, recently returned from a business trip with other county officials. The objective of their trip to the East was to entice businesses to open new industries in Cube Town and the surrounding communities. My Way reported that the trip, billed as “Don’t Be Square! Move to Cube Town”, was a great success.

Rumors are circulating that Wes Wascal is planning a trip to Cancun for his birthday later this month. Wascal is already sporting a deep tan thanks to Mayor My Way's new tanning parlor on the highway.

Office Josh B'Gosh was called to the home of Mike Marauder Saturday night when neighbors complained about the strange noises coming from his back yard. Marauder was found to be entertaining his sister from Ohio with a can of F**t Putty. No arrests were made even though F**t Putty was banned by the new noise ordinance pushed through the town council last spring by Assistant Mayor Assistant Holly Hilarious. Marauder’s neighbor, Wes Wascal, protested that the whole thing was “Scandalous!”

In honor of National Ice Cream Sandwich day, an ice cream social was held yesterday at the town hall. The Ladies Auxiliary served three kinds of ice cream sandwiches to Cube Town citizens attending the fete. Representing the town officials were Mayor C. J. My Way, Assistant Mayor Assistant Holly Hilarious, Councilman Wes Wascal, and Officer Josh B’Gosh. Others in attendance included Mike Marauder, Denise D. Nephew, Cheryl Sweep, Mich Elle, and Ronnie Lonnie Fonnie. Entertainment was provided by Marvelous Martha, and a good time was had by all.