Jerks

I had to take my car in to be serviced today. It was giving little intermittent jerks when it sat idling at stop signs or while waiting in traffice. It was barely preceptible, but I hate that shuddering and shaking that happens sometimes with old cars. So I called Pat at the service desk and he said Bring 'er on in. So I did.

When I got there, he was on the phone so I waited. And I waited. And I waited some more. Finaly Hank came over and started the paper work. "What do you need today?" he asked. I explained about the little jerking motions and he said, "Idles rough." Now I don't call little jerking motions, "idling rough". Either he was prone to over-statements or he's never been stuck at a stop light in a '67 tri-colored sedan, with one door handle, mis-matched tires, and a coat hanger for an antenna that needed a tune-up 5 years ago.

Anyway, an hour and a half later, they tell me there's nothing wrong with the car.
"Yes, there is," I replied. "You didn't notice those little jerks when it was idling?"

"Well, you could take it for a drive with the service technician and see if you can reproduce the problem."

"Frankly, Pat, I doubt if I can reproduce a problem that only occurs while idling when I'm driving the service tech around, but let's give it a try."

Sam and I went out to the car. "I did the computer tests. They didn't show anything wrong," he said.

I got in the driver's side. He got in the passenger's side. I started the engine. He put on his seat belt. I shifted into drive. We sat there idling for about 30 seconds.

"There, did you feel that?" I asked as the car gave a couple of little jerks.

"Hm, that's strange," he replied.

A half hour later, Pat says, "We found the problem. There's a loose wire on your spark plug. We've got to send away for it and that will be $110. OK? It will take a while to get it so you can leave and comeback. OK? It will be here about 12:30 so come back at 2. OK?

"Huh?"

"My guys go to lunch at 12, 12:30, so they can't get to your car till 1, 1:30. So bring the car back at 2. OK?"

"OK."

I leave, I come back. "This won't take long," Pat assures me.

I sit in the waiting room. Reading a book. Watching court TV. Watching other customers come and go. An hour later, Pat comes in the waiting room. "Hmm, that didn't fix the problem. Looks like a coil is loose. That'll be another $250. OK? They want to replace all the wires, but lets see if the coil fixes it. OK?"

"OK."

An hour and a half later, it's fixed. Or so Pat says.

Valerie offers to sign me up for their "customer advantage" card. It's free so it's a win-win situation. One of every five oil changes is free. You get $10 just for stopping by, then you get 5% off just because and then they put $10 in an account for you to use for service the next time.

"See?"
"No."
"So your bill today is $459 and we'll put $332 on your credit card. OK?"
"OK."

I'd ask what happened to the other $127, but I don't really want to know. I have one item on my bill that's $210 and another that's $150. Nothing for the quoted $110 or $250, so I know they're just making up numbers anyway. You might say they were just rough estimates.