Ode to Howie

The girls named the spider that roamed the woman's restroom. I don't know if giving it a name meant they were becoming endeared to the mini-monster or if it was a way to humanize him in an attempt to make him less fearful. It's too late to figure it out now, because Howie (that was his name) ventured out of his kingdom and met an unkind fate, if you know what I mean.

Stephanie wrote an eulogy for the squashed arachnid and so (rather than have to write an entire column myself) I share it with you here.

ODE TO HOWIE
R.I.P.

The spider we all know as Howie passed away tragically today…when a man in a yellow shirt who smokes cigars…decided to take him out. Howie will not be missed…however he was well loved and apparently well fed. Howie must have been a part of secret covert operation…where scientist experiment creating today’s super spider. They apparently are able leap small buildings in a single bound…growing at incredible rates…and are faster than a speeding bullet. Rest is in peace Howie.