The Macabre Theater

I'll apologize now before you even read it.

One moonlit night, Lucky and Lefty were digging in the Bishop Hill Cemetery. They were used to being amongst the ghosts and the goblins that danced around the tombstones because Lucky and Lefty were grave robbers. Festering boils on the veneer of polite society, the lowest of the low, the sneakiest of the sneaky.

The despicable duo weren't having much luck that night. After a couple of hours of digging, they discovered the first plot didn't contain a coffin or a body. Their second effort yielded a coffin full of stones for their backbreaking labor. They continued ruthlessly desecrating the sacred ground and found an empty coffin under the third plot.

Lefty threw down his shovel in disgust, but Lucky set his thin lips determinedly and thrust his spade into yet another plot.

“Cricky!” Lefty protested. “Doesn’t anybody put bodies in coffins anymore? Give it up, mate. It’s almost sun-up and you’re just wasting your time.”

Lucky threw another shovel full of dirt over his shoulder. “I aim to get a head in this business, Lefty, and no body isn’t going to stop me.”